Page 86 of Take Me to the Wedding

Oh no. I wondered if I should stop her now, because I didn’t want to hear what was coming. I glanced over at the rehearsal dinner in the distance and saw Sam headed back to her seat. I balled my fists, trying to prevent myself from going to her.

I missed some of what Lilly was saying, so I forced myself to pay attention.

“Anyway, the bottom line is, I saw what you did for that little boy. I couldn’t believe how brave you were. And I realized that I’d been letting the bad memories of that awful time we had cloud my judgment. We were kids, and we both had so much growing up to do. But I’ve finally figured out that I’m in love with you, Caleb. I—I’ve decided that I want another chance.”

I felt my body go rigid, my heart thudding ominously as I took that all in. Life is so funny. It slaps you on the ass when you least expect it. I’d kept Lilly in my mind for years, holding up her memory as my ideal woman. But after spending less than a day with her, I knew beyond a doubt that she wasn’t. I should’ve done that long before to save myself the headache.

Samantha called me a romantic, but I didn’t really like that word. Hopeful? Optimistic? In this case,totally ridiculouswas more like it.

To get into med school, you have to persevere over and over again. You’re taught to excel, because if you don’t, you are eaten for breakfast. And so you pick yourself up again and again and redirect your determination into better grades, bigger accomplishments, greater achievements. Hopefully you end up sincerely wanting to make the world a better place and not becoming some jaded person always looking for the next proverbial “A.”

I think I’d put Lilly in that same kind of box as any of my so-called accomplishments. If I’d only tried harder, paid her more attention, been more attentive to her needs, we wouldn’t have crashed and burned. That failure was a persistent scar that I kept trying to erase. My mind hadn’t been able to wrap itself around the fact that I’d been unable to turn our relationship into a win.

I looked at the woman in front of me. She shifted her weight from one high heel to the other, staring at me expectantly.

I was pretty sure that regardless of what she’d just said, Lilly wasn’t in love with me. She always glommed on to the newest, shiniest thing—that’s what I became when I’d saved Tater. The hero of the day.

It was like when I was valedictorian. And again when I got into med school. She’d always admired success. I mean, she became successful herself, which was admirable.

But during the hard times, the times of struggle—like, when I could barely keep my head above water that first year—she hadn’t been so impressed. And while she suffered too, it seemed to be all about her.

All this time, I’d tended to blame myself. But love was a two-way street.

Oh, I was past blaming. I just knew who I loved. Really loved. And it wasn’t her.

I turned to her. “Lilly,” I said, taking up her hands. “I love our memories together. I love our history. You were a wonderful first love. But?—”

Tears welled. “Caleb, we have a long history. Did one weekend with her erase everything? I knew I shouldn’t have left that square dance so early.”

One weekend withher.It was the way she said it. One weekend withher.Not vindictive, but somehow… spiteful? Or at least, envious.

How did she know about Sam and me if we hadn’t even told anyone yet?

Maybe it was simply obvious to everyone. Maybe we just couldn’t hide it. If only Sam would believe it too.

“Lilly, look.” I took hold of her hands. “We shared so many great times. I’m really glad this wedding got us back on better terms with each other.”

“Stop.” She paused, appearing to collect herself. “You’re in love with Samantha.”

“Yes.” The plain, simple truth. “I love her.”

“I thought so.” She gave me a sad smile. “I just had to take the chance.”

She was crying. “I’ll always treasure the good times.” And I planned to forget all the bad ones as soon as possible, I thought as I hugged her goodbye for good.

I did love Sam. This time, I knew that what I felt was real, mature love. It hurt too damn bad not to be.

ChapterTwenty-Four

Sam

At around ten-thirty, the rehearsal dinner finally over, Mia found me sitting on a bench by myself in a pretty solar-light lit garden that at the moment, I could not appreciate.

“There you are,” she said, taking a seat beside me. “How was the test between Ani and Tyler? I saw you doing it.”

I shook my head. “Only because Ani begged me to. I told her the truth—that the result didn’t matter. That she already knew the answer in her heart, and we’d support her no matter what she decided.”

Mia nodded. “This wedding is sort of turning into a real shit show. Pardon my language.”

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