Page 131 of Curse the Fae

Water laps against the platform. Eddies pass through the bulrushes with a soft swish, as if whispering,Hush, it’s all right.

Everything will be all right. This is okay, it’s real, and it’s safe.

My bare feet shuffle in place. Elixir observes this, his visage riveted with affection. In the past, he’s heard and sensed me making such gestures, however this is the first time he’s witnessing them. The hate and vengeance of years before have vanished, swept away with the tide and the passage of time. Now there’s only raw longing and sudden uncertainty.

He opens his mouth. “You—”

I open mine. “We—”

We stagger into another awkward pause. This is the part where we would laugh sheepishly, but none of this is funny, because too much of this matters.

Elixir waits for me to continue, but my tongue freezes, caught in a net of fear and desire, hope and doubt, dismay and comfort. I can’t say which emotions are more potent, more promising.

The water lord hisses in Faeish and stalks forward. The planks rattle under his weight, and the leggings cling to him like film, and his skin permeates the air with the intoxicating scents of bergamot and black pepper—its own breed of dark, sinful magic. Plates of olive muscle shift with his movements, his bare torso flexing as though every part of him is fighting to hold itself together.

He pauses to loom before me, a tremulous edge to his voice, his accent more pronounced. “If you will not speak, I shall. I must deserve this moment with you.”

“Elixir—,” I start, wanting to assure him that he’s already earned this moment, however tongue-tied I appear to be.

Regardless, his fingers land on my lips. The pad of his thumb rides across the seam. “Let me,” he implores. “Please.”

His digit tingles my flesh, traveling down the center of me, to the cleft between my thighs. I find the wits to nod. We stand there, suspended over the river, at the hub of this world, where anyone who’s still awake can see us.

Yet neither of us hides nor shrinks from view. Instead, we move closer until his chest grazes my breasts.

The way Elixir physically buoys himself for a speech is utterly endearing. The vision clamps onto my heart. “In The Fauna Tides, and later in The Fountain of Tears, you asked me questions I would not answer. I will do so now.”

Elixir fastens his gaze to mine. “You asked what I desired above all else for myself. The answer is you. It has always been you. It was you in every form, in every guise. I wanted your pain, your guilt, and your punishment. I wanted to make you pay for what happened to my kin, for what the curse did to my mothers. I blamed you to hell.

“But damnation, I also wanted to cure your pain, erase that guilt, and free you from that punishment. I wanted to protect you from suffering. I wanted to forgive you. More than that, I wanted you to have that which you desired most—for you to forgive yourself. It was not your fault. If you cursed me, it was my doing. Do not protest,” he demands when I shake my head.

We were only children. I’ve forgiven myself and him, and I know he’s forgiven me. But I do as he bids and stay quiet.

“You asked why I’d chosen Elixir as my name. You asked what I was trying to heal,” he murmurs. “To the latter, the answer is my grief. For nearly a decade, I have been seeking an antidote to the pain of losing my mothers, the anguish of knowing what my power did to them, and the agony of losing my kin. I saved some, but I failed to save them all. Despite the games and sacrifices, I swore to myself I would brew a restorative for this pain. To the former question, that is why I call myself Elixir.

“While I kept failing to devise a cure, I grew more bitter, angrier. Thus, I brewed what I knew would at least work. Remedies for my kin and poisons for my enemies—for humans.

“You asked what gave me comfort. The answer used to be revenge. Now the answer is this moment. It is here with you.” He coasts his knuckles over my cheek, then runs them down my bobbing throat, and down still to my ramming heart. “In my den, you asked where I live, sleep, and take refuge. My answer is with you. Where you are is my refuge. Where you live and breathe is my home. Your ceaseless chatter is my home. Your kindness is my home. Your merciful smile is my home. Your selflessness is my home.”

Elixir’s orbs brim. “Your light is my home.”

He drags his fingers away and strides backward, providing me the space to exhale and give my verdict. If I was speechless before, my vocal cords are drained now. I have no words left, because nothing I feel for him would fit in my mouth. It scarcely fits inside my body.

My eyes water. Being with him was always a risk, yet that risk always had a time limit.

Has that changed? How much farther am I willing to take this gamble?

A question forms in the shadows of Elixir’s face, tinged with confusion as he beholds my paralysis. Whatever he sees unsettles him, the foundation sinking beneath.

“Er…I’m done now,” he announces. “You were saying? Before I began?”

“Was I going to say something?” I utter. “I’m not sure.”

“That is not like you.”

“People change.”

He peers at me. “Do they?”

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