Page 60 of Curse the Fae

Elixir shakes his head, his eyes bright and searching for mine. “You are too selfless. I do not understand it. I cannot…understand what it’s doing to me.” His hands leap to my face and seize my cheeks, his fingers digging into the loosely plaited bun. “Cove.”

My heart stutters. He wants to let me in. He does.

The water erupts, wetting my hem and his leggings. I inch nearer, my palm encasing his profile. “Please, let me help you. Let me help you understand.”

My thumb breaches his ear. The trance snaps. Elixir’s eyes flare, gold spewing from the irises. I gasp and skitter backward, but the lights fail to blind.

The beams vanish. Stricken, Elixir registers what he’d just done—what he reflexively tried to do. Horror and self-loathing clash with outrage, yanking his expression in two directions.

“I need no one’s help,” he seethes.

The river ruler storms past me, abandoning the harp and quitting the chamber. I whip around and call out, “Elixir! Elixir, wait!” I snatch my weapon from the wall and chase after him.

He’s fled one too many forsaken times. For once, I won’t let him get away.

16

He moves quickly, prowling down a network of corridors. I dash several leagues behind him, reaching corners just as he charges out of sight and then reappears when I’ve rounded the bend. His robe flares out, the fabric lashing around his long limbs. Sizzling lanterns fling orange light at his silhouette and turn him into a specter, a darker creature than he already is.

The sight mirrors my first glimpse of him, when I’d peaked into a tunnel as his imposing form had stalked through. Except this isn’t the same moment, and he’s not the same monster, nor am I the same mortal. I refuse to be a captive, an expendable piece in this game to restore his world, and I certainly refuse to be left behind without having my say.

Elixir isn’t fleeing because he doesn’t value my word. He is fleeing because he’s terrified of it, because it matters that much.

The evidence of this is clear from the speed of his retreat, his pace furious yet heedless. He storms into shawls of mist, the vapors puffing out of his way, though he could have simply vanished. His arms flex at his sides, whereas his fingers should be grazing the walls or tracing the air to discern his way.

He strikes forth erratically, his direction unclear. He pushes ahead, swaying one way, then the other.

“Elixir,” I shout, the name ringing through the passage. “Elixir, stop!”

The viper tears around a corner and crashes through a fence of tall reeds. Blessedly, the thoroughfares of this place have dry floors rather than slippery ones. I plow after him. Releasing the skirt of my dress, I swing my free hand, smack the foliage apart, and enter a water garden tucked beneath a cave.

Elixir falters in place. His tapered ears click, perceiving sounds I can’t detect, which identify his location. Evidently, this isn’t where he’d wanted to go.

“Shit,” he hisses and vaults around.

I’m right behind him, marching forward to block his path. Profanities teeter on the tip of my tongue, words I’ve never resorted to using. I’m so mad, so fitful, I’m quaking from head to toe. “Elixir, dammit,” I gust. “You didn’t answer me.”

“Cursed woman!” Elixir seethes. He whips away in frustration, claws through his hair, and slams back around. “I do not have to obey you. I do not have to answer your fucking questions!”

I get in his face. “Only if you can’t handle taking the brunt, just as much as you give it. You don’t get to be the only one who chooses when things end and begin. You don’t get to be the only one dictating what’s said and not said. You don’t get to be the only one who asks questions. Unless you’re afraid.”

His voice ruptures through the cave. “You are a human. Your questions do not scare me.Youdo not scare me!”

My voice ruptures back and hits the crusted ceiling. “Then answer this one: Why did you heal me?”

Elixir falls silent. Our shouts fracture apart, leaving silence in their wake. My hands ball at my sides, fingernails digging into my palms to prevent them from reaching out, from grabbing and shaking him.

The compact cave blossoms with life. Situated amidst lawns of grass, a pond—backed by a rocky edifice and overhand, both cushioned in moss—fills the space. The expanse is as still and polished as a coin, with pearlescent lilies floating like rafts upon the surface.

The water glistens with a blue sheen, and the pearly florals glow, their colors the only sources of light here. No teal orbs. No burning lanterns. The only source of gold is the one staring down at me.

Elixir’s features warp, stringing so tightly they might snap.

A lump clogs my throat. I want this to end. I want to stop hating him. I want to stop sympathizing with him. Worse, I want to feel other things, if only he’d let me, if I only I’d let myself, if only it were that simple, if only it were that forgivable.

I chuck my weapon to a grassy mound, grasp the skirt of my dress with one hand, and raise the material. The balmy air caresses my skin. Before I have time to question the instinct, my other hand finds his.

Elixir flinches. His head ticks toward the spot where my fingers gather his. I place them on my bare hip and run them along the place where his mixture had erased the welts, the signs that we’d once worked together, protected each other.

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