Page 162 of Return Policy

As I contemplate her words, guilt settles into my stomach for blaming him.

“I know… I feel stupid for feeling this way. But I can’t help wondering if he’s keeping other things from me.”

“Come here.” Leah pats the spot on my bed next to her, and I pad over, plopping down on the mattress. “He brought you to his family home. He must have known you would find out about his dad and sister while you were there. Don’t you think?”

My brows furrow as I process what she’s saying. “I guess so.”

“Have you considered maybe he was ready to share that part of himself with you but didn’t know how else to do it?” Leah takes my hands in hers. “I know it felt like he was hiding something big from you, but you know how hard it hurts to lose someone you love. Elijah also had to open himself up the same way you are. I think him bringing you home was his way of sharing that with you without justtellingyou about it.”

“He wanted to show me,” I say quietly, feeling shitty about how I reacted to him sharing the most painful parts of himself.

“Just think about it, okay? Think about what’s really holding you back from opening yourself up completely.”

I lean my head on her shoulder and stare at the pressed sunflower Elijah gave me for Christmas.

“I’m afraid to confess to him, to both of us, what I feel. When I tell Elijah I love him, I’ll be admitting to him and the universe that it’ll fucking wreck me if I lose him,” I reveal quietly, and she hugs me close.

“It’s scary falling in love… but it’s also beautiful. And once you jump all in for someone, there’s really no going back.”

“No return policy.” I release a breathy laugh, thinking of Elijah.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” She leans her head against mine. “No return policy.”

“Thank you.” I place my hand on Leah’s knee and give it a light squeeze.

“Anytime. So… I heard you talked to Lysa.”

An exasperated sigh leaves me. “Yep.”

“How was it? Talking to her?”

“Honestly?” I scrunch my face. “It was kinda nice.”

“I’m so glad to hear you say that. She was so happy you answered.”

“Yeah.” I smile down at my hands. “I guess it couldn’t hurt to give her a chance, huh?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“I think I should call her today.”

“I bet she’d love that.” Leah rolls off the bed and walks to the door before turning to face me. “Love you, Ladybug.”

I smile as she turns and leaves the room. “Love you more, Scaredybug.”

After picking up my phone, I scroll for the number I haven't purposefully dialed in years, if ever. It rings so long I think she may not pick up, and just as I’m about to end the call, her familiar voice fills the other end of the line. “Soph?”

“Hi, Mom,” I say in as happy a tone I can muster.

“I’m so glad you called. You doing okay?”

“Yeah. Um… I just wanted to call and say Merry Christmas, Mama Bear.”

She exhales heavily, and I can hear the smile in her voice. “Merry Christmas, Sophie Bear.”

* * *

I’m lying on my bed, watchingMiracle on 34th Streetwhen my phone screen lights up the darkness.

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