Page 23 of Return Policy

Dumb Jock

She’s hooked and she can’t stop staring

Me

I don’t wanna get with ya

Or take ya picture

Dumb Jock

Whatever DJ disses a lot

Send me your schedule, maybe our pre-reqs overlap

Turns out we have a class together twice a week. How on earth will I concentrate with his stupid, perfect face in the room?

Cosmos, give me strength.

8

ELIJAH

“Are you shitting me?” I mutter to myself, looking down at the tiny phone screen. On the way home from class, I checked the grade from my first world history exam, and I now realize it was a grave mistake. The second I saw D show up in the grade column, my mood went from Martha Stewart-on-4/20 to Martha Stewart-in-prison.

I may have bombed finals last year, but I really thought I was doing better this semester.

This has to be a joke.

Okay, Professor Mintz, you can update with the real results now.

Coach has been killing us at practice—like, running-laps-till-we-vomit killingus—but even though I was exhausted, I still studied every night this week.

What the hell am I going to do?

I already hate this fucking class. To be honest, I probably would’ve dropped it, but I look forward to seeing a certain ray of sunshine twice a week. Our hardass professor gave us assigned seats like we’re kindergarteners, and Sophia’s on the opposite side of the room. If I thought Mintz would take a bribe, I’d believe Sophia paid him to make sure we’re as far away from one another as logistically possible.

She takes days to reply to my messages, and I’m not about to turn into the guy that double texts. Whenever we see each other in person, she avoids me like Noah avoids Chef Boyardee. It makes no sense to me. I’m not the guy girls avoid, I’m the one they fight over.

Hoping for a pick-me-up, I walk into my favorite coffee shop on campus, Crystal Coffee, and get in the long line. After a few minutes and being only halfway through the line, I pull out my phone, bringing it to my ear.

“Hey, it’s Dean. I can’t get to the phone right now. Leave me a message… or don’t, but I do love me a good voicemail. Have a blessed day!”Beeeep.

“Welp…” I shift in place. “I’ve really stepped in it this time, Dino… Let’s just say I won’t be winning a Pulitzer in history anytime soon. I have no clue what I’m gonna do this time. I can’t risk losing this dang scholarship.”

The door to Crystal Coffee opens, and I turn towards it. Sophia steps through looking like a damn vision in denim shorts and a tight black cropped T-shirt tight over her chest that says “Koala-fied to party.”

“Gotta call you back, I might've found my saving grace. Love ya.” I hang up the phone, move quickly to the back of the line, and lean down to her ear. “Hey, Sunflower.”

Without even so much as a flinch, Sophia’s head turns to me as an amused smirk forms across her pretty lips. “Hey?”

I step forward to stand directly next to her. “How’d you do on the world history test?”

“Who’s asking?” I raise my brows. “Fine.” She rolls her eyes and attempts to stifle a smile. “I got a ninety-eight.”

“A ninety-eight?!” I balk with my mouth hanging open. “Are you frickin’ serious?”

Her lips curve upward. “I’m assuming by your shocked reaction you’re one of the disappointments Professor Mintz talked about in his email?”

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