Page 18 of Merry Mischief List

“I mean, not entirely but—”

“In case you haven’t figured it out yet, Jess. Isn’t. Here. She’s in Virginia, wrapping presents and singing Christmas carols with herhusband. So if you think you’re doing her some big favor by avoiding me, I can assure you she doesn’t give a shit who I spend my time with.”

“Wow, harsh, Cupcake.”

“Harsh. Blunt. Honest. Whatever you wanna call it, it is what it is.”

Don’t see the holiday festivities as distractions, but rather a break that will allow you to come back refreshed with a new perspective.Maybe this is exactly what I need.

“Come on, please don’t make me do it alone,” she pouts, with big brown puppy dog eyes. “That’s no fun.”

“Fine.” The word is out of my mouth before I can stop it. I know I’m going to regret this, but I can’t help but be at least a little tempted by the idea of spending the holidays with little Ms. Mischief and her list.

“Yes!” She cheers, clapping her hands together. “Okay, that was easier than I thought it’d be.”

“Lucky for you, I have some free time,” I reply, trying to maintain my persona of nonchalance. “But I do have a question. You know, before I sign on the dotted line and all that. The bottom said ‘get naked at Desert Bowl’?”I really hope it doesn’t mean what I think it does, because there’s no way I can allow it.

“I’m telling you this as a mischief maker andnotthe CBU head coach, okay?”

“Okay,” I confirm hesitantly.

“The loser has to streak after the bowl game in Arizona.” All the blood rushes south at the thought of her running naked. “Porter?” She snaps in front of my face. “Did I break you with the mention of nudity?”

“Have you lost your mind?” I ask in disbelief after coming back to reality. “Streaking at a football game is illegal. You would go tojail.And while I—”

“Calm down,” Andi says, putting her hands up. “You’re gonna give yourself a damn heart attack.”

“Calm down?” I scoff. “That’s abso—”

“I can assure you we arenotplanning on streaking through the field in front of all those people. Do I look insane to you?”

“Well, no, but—”

“We’re going to streak outside ourhotel, after the game.”

“That’s still probably illegal and definitely against school policy,” I remind her.

“Come on, Mr. Buzzkill, be a good sport.”

“You’re not worried about being seen?” I ask.

“Not really.” She shrugs. “We’ll do it late at night when no one should really be out.”

“Sounds like you at least partially thought it through,” I say, grabbing my bag.

“We have.”

“Fine, but if those are the stakes, we better make sure you win.”

“Yes, good attitude.” She pats me on the shoulder, and we make our way toward the exit. “Any other questions?”

I mull over the list in my mind. “Yeah, what’s the triple gumdrop?”

Andi stops dead, and I turn to face her. She stares up at me with big doe eyes and a mischievous smile on her face that screams trouble. It also screamsbend me over and fuck me senseless, but I’m gonna pretend my brain didn’t translate it properly.

“Again, let’s have a rule that for the next week, anything I tell you is as Porter, my fellow mischief maker, and not a buzzkill faculty member.”

“If you keep calling me that, we might not have a deal.”

---