Page 2 of Merry Mischief List

“I don’t think Google can solve this issue.”

“Hah! Wrong again, Andi-kins,” she says, hopping off the couch. “I’ve found the perfect idea.” She runs out of the room and comes back with a piece of paper and a pen.

“Are we asking Santa to add Olivia to the naughty list?”

“Funny, but no,” she quips. “We’re making you a merry to-do list.”

“A what?”

“A to-do list. Like, ‘I’m gonna do all this fun-ass shit to stop being miserable for Christmas.’ We’re both going to winter wonderlands with full on Christmas vibes. We gotta capitalize on that stuff.”

“I’m pretty sureI’mthe only one getting thetrueChristmas vibes,” I point out. “You’re going to party at a ritzy ski lodge with Theo while I sing Christmas carols with Aunt Delilah.”

“Oh, come on. You know you’re gonna need a distraction from this Olivia shit and the Jess Show.”

“That’s true…” I internally groan at the thought of my older sister. Anytime we try to have a conversation, she always flips it back on herself and how great her life is.

It’s exhausting.

Stella taps the pen against the paper impatiently. “So can we make this list or what?”

“Fine,” I agree. “What will we be adding to said merry dumpmas list?”

“Yes! Hmm, okay… Build a snowman?”

“That’s something I can get on board with.”

She scribbles it down and adds five more items to the list:

Ice skating

Snowball fight

Kiss under mistletoe

Drink spiked hot chocolate

Decorate a Christmas tree

“I see you’re taking a page out of every Hallmark Christmas movie ever made. Very original,” I tease.

“Well, I figure it’s hard to paint yourself the villain when you’re doing all this merry shit. But if you wantoriginal, let’s be original.” She boops my nose with a pen, a mischievous smile spreading across her face. “Let’s add… gingerbread man tower.”

I choke on a laugh. “What does that even mean?”

“You know… an Eiffel Tower? A threesome? A ménage à trois?”

“Okay, okay.” I wave her off. “I get it.”

“Oh!” she exclaims, crossing out the gingerbread man tower. “That’s not very inclusive. What if you find a hot Mrs. Claus to join?”

“Good idea. There’s a girl I hooked up with last year I wouldn’t mind a round two with.”And three. And four.

“What about… triple gumdrop tower? It’s gender neutral.”

“Perfect. And add ‘bake gingerbread cookies,’” I suggest, thinking of one of my favorite traditions.

“Really? Use your imagination! Don’t be so basic.”

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