Page 26 of Merry Mischief List

“We just spent an hour making Frankensnow. No breaks?”

“No rest for the wicked,” she says, grabbing my arm and tugging me to a dry spot away from the shoreline. She settles in the sand, lying flat on her back, and throws out her arms and legs in a starfish position.

“What are you…” A childlike joy settles in me as I watch her make sand angels without a care in the world.Damn, is she hot.She jumps up, sand trickling off her body, and beams at her work.

“Looking good,” I say, staring down at the sand angel.

“Yeah, but she’s lonely.” Andi pouts, turning to face me. “Don’t let her be lonely, Porter. I know you’re not a monster.”

“I thought I was an ogre.”

“They don’t like to be alone either.”

“That’s literally the entire point ofShrek.Hewantsto be alone.”

“Did you evenwatchthe movie? He onlythinkshe wants to be alone.” She gestures towards her creation. “In reality, he’s happier with his princess and donkey.”

“Guess there’s nothing wrong with a little ass.” I get down in the sand and add another.

“Attaboy,” Andi praises, and I stand up, smiling at our angels side by side.

“There, another item complete.”

“Sweet! Six to four, baby!” she cheers, slamming her body into me with a full force chest bump. The gesture catches me off guard.You can definitely tell she’s surrounded by football players.

I brush some sand off my chest, and she glances down, bringing a hand to her own. She wipes at it furiously but barely any is removed. “This stuff is stuck like glue,” she says as her breasts bounce around like coconuts in a hammock.

“Wanna hit the showers before we leave?” I suggest, darting my eyes away.

“Yeah, sounds good.”

We gather our things and head to the outdoor showers near the parking lot. Only one is open, and I gesture for her to go first. She steps under the shower head, and it’s difficult to drag my eyes away as the water streams down her body and between the valley of her breasts.

Pull yourself together, Porter.

I force my eyes away, pretending to focus on the people passing by. Two women in tiny bikinis smile and wave at me, and now I feel like an even bigger creep.

“Man, that was a good call,” Andi says, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around her. “At least now I won’t have to sleep with sand up my ass.”

“What do you mean?” I ask, trying to avoid the visual.

“The plumbing is out at my place, so that was the closest I’ll get to a legit shower.”

“What do you mean?” I repeat like an idiot.

Her annoyed eyes shoot to mine. “It means I used to have running water, and now I don’t.”

How can a person survive without access to water?“When will it be fixed?”

“Well, on account of Christmas, probably a few days after if we’re lucky,” she says as I take my turn to rinse off.

“So how have you been using the bathroom?” I ask as the cool water runs down my body.

“I dug a hole behind my building,” she says, and I stare at her in disbelief. “What the hell do you think? It just went out last night, and you picked me up this morning.”

“So you… held it?”

“Oh, good god. Do I need to spell it out for you, Porter? Are you that concerned about my bathroom usage?”

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