Page 144 of Even Exchange

“HehatesChef Boyardee,” Elijah says, smirking like a smug bastard.Asshole.

Charlotte’s mouth falls open. “You let me buy ten cans for when my siblings visit.”

“You were so excited they had the kind Denny likes,” I say with a sheepish smile.Although I was planning to make it for the kids from scratch.

“Ugh,” she groans. “I’m trying not to have my feelings hurt that yourboyfriendknows you better than I do.” She scowls at Elijah, who laughs and helps himself to water from the fridge.

I throw my arm around her shoulders. “Don’t worry. We’ve got all the time in the world.”

IT:Perché non mi hai richiamata?Sei malato?- EN: Why didn’t you call me back? Are you sick?

IT:No, non sono malato.- EN: No, I’m not sick.

IT:Allora perché non mi hai richiamata? Mi richiami sempre. Ero preoccupata.- EN: Then why didn’t you call me back? You always call me back. I was worried.

IT:Mamma, sto bene. - EN: Mamma, I’m fine.

IT:Per il tuo bambino. - EN: For your baby.

IT:Inspira… due… tre… espira… due… tre…- EN: Inhale…two…three…exhale…two…three…

IT:Grazie, mamma.- EN: Thank you, Mamma.

IT:Diventerònonna! - EN: I’m going to be a grandma!

IT:Ma figurati, sole mio.- EN: You’re welcome, my sun.

29

CHARLOTTE

My fingers ache from an afternoon of rapid-fire googling.

What size is a baby at 7 weeks?

When do you feel the first kicks?

What is a suggested diet when pregnant?

What are pregnancy symptoms?

Is sex safe when pregnant?

Is it normal not to have pregnancy symptoms?

Noah Caruso Barracudas Quarterback.

Okay, the last one was more out of sheer curiosity of how famous my best friend turned fake boyfriend turned baby daddy is, all things considered.

Answer: Super Mega Fucking Famous.

There were pages and pages and pages of articles on “Noah Caruso: Tampa Bay’s Newest Shining Star,” “Heisman Winner Paving His Path in Tampa,”and my personal least favorite, “Noah Caruso: Tampa Bay’s Most Eligible Bachelor.”

Like, excuse me, bitches, he is not eligible. Did the photos of us on his Instagram not award our relationship the respect of “off the market”? Not to mention the fact this man’s baby resides in my womb. Although that’s not public knowledge for obvious reasons…

Actually, Noah may not want anyone to know. The headlines “Heisman Winner Got Horny: Baby On The Way” or “NFL Quarterback and Daddy at 23: What Will This Mean For His Career?” ring in my head, and suddenly I’m glad I’m way further off their radar than I originally hoped.

Groaning, I throw my head against the back of the couch.Stop torturing yourself.Tossing the phone on the cushion, I get up to grab a drink. According to my thorough research, pregnant women need to drink water. Lots and lots of water. Like, almostone hundredounces per day. And people wonder why we have to pee so much.

---