Page 41 of The Devil's Redemption

“Bon-Bon, thank you so much for the pancakes, but I honestly don’t think I can have one more bite,” I insist after swallowing another forkful of sweet pancake goodness.

I swear, everything tastes just a little better than it used to. The sun shines a little brighter. The scent in the air is a little sweeter.

“That’s okay, baby. Eat whatever you can. We need to get you strong again. If you get hungry for anything before lunchtime, come find me, and I can whip something up for you.”

I stand and walk my plate over to the sink, where Bon-Bon is cleaning breakfast dishes left behind by the other guys since they were called to church unexpectedly a moment ago.

“Thank you so much. At a time when I feel like a burden, you make me feel as though I belong.”

“You do belong, baby. Blade loves you, which means you have a place here.”

I can’t stop the smile that perks up my lips. Blade only told me he loves me yesterday before we went up to his room and passed out. Which means he either told Bon or she figured it our prior to this. Knowing that makes my insides warm and my stomach flutter like crazy, the same way it did yesterday when I heard Blade say it.

“You’ve never been a burden to the club. And you never will be. I know this is all new to you, but you need to get used to having a big family. Because you just inherited a boatload of brothers and a new ma and pa. And we’ve got your back.”

Bon’s words are like a bucket of frigid water, dashing the warmth I felt a moment ago. I swallow, unable to push thoughts of my actual brother from my mind. We still need to go collect his body from the morgue and have his funeral. I’m tempted to just have him cremated and scatter his ashes somewhere. I don’t know where yet. The hardened bitch in me considers flushing them down the toilet. But the little girl inside of me who has fond memories of her brother thinks about spreading them somewhere in the Shenandoah Valley. I let myself remember day trips to Harper’s Ferry when we were little. We loved running around among the ruins of buildings long destroyed by the Civil War.

That was back at a time when our family was whole. Loving. Free from all the horrible things that tore us apart.

I take a deep breath before answering Bon, and I hope that my pause wasn’t as long as it felt.

“Thank you. You have no idea how much it means to me to hear you say that. Hopefully, one day soon I’ll feel like everyone else actually wants me around, too.”

“They do, baby. Don’t let them scare you. You’ll never survive. If they start dishing shit out, you dish it right back, you hear?” she pauses. “That’s the only way you’ll earn their respect.”

With a wink, she turns in the direction of the garage and walks away.

After another deep breath, I walk back to the table, grabbing the spray conditioner and brush that I left on my chair, then I head to Maggie’s room. I hope she’s as nice as she was the other day and that wasn’t just her under the influence of the drugs Hawk was pumping into her. Remembering what Bon-Bon just told me, I hold my chin up high and knock on her door before opening it.

I see Hawk at the counter, his back facing me, doing whatever doctorly thing he’s doing. Maggie is sitting up in bed but has her eyes closed. I don’t think she’s asleep. Who would sleep sitting up like that?

“Um, I’m sorry if this is a bad time,” I speak up.

Maggie’s eyes open at the sound of my voice, and I’m relieved at the smile she sends my way.

“No, it’s not. I wasn’t asleep. Just resting my eyes.”

“I know what you mean. I had a hard time keeping them open when I first woke up. The headaches were killer, and the light made them worse.”

With that, I dim the overhead light and walk to her bedside. Unsure what to say, I stand there like an idiot until Maggie breaks the silence.

“Is that for me?” she asks, looking at the spray conditioner and brush.

“Oh… Yes. Bon-Bon and Blade helped me tame my knots with it. I thought I would pay it forward and help you with your hair.”

“Good luck with this rat’s nest.”

With a quick smile, I hit one section of her hair with the spray. Once it’s saturated, I begin at her ends, slowly brushing through the matting as gently as I can.

“It’s going to take several days of TLC, but I should be able to get most of the knots out without having to cut them.”

“Honestly, I should just buzz it all off anyway.”

I don’t miss the slight turn of Hawk’s head when she says this. As though he’s upset by the comment or has an opinion about it. There’s definitely something happening here. I would love to see her and Hawk get together. If Hawk is now one of mybrothers, I certainly wouldn’t mind having Maggie as asister-in-law.

Although, I’m only speculating that he has feelings for her. I don’t know if he has a wife, girlfriend, ol’ lady… Whatever they call it. Maybe he stayed by her bedside because there’s no one else here to do it like Blade did for me. For all I know,shecould be the one already in a relationship.

Oy. I’m starting to give myself a headache.

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