Page 19 of The Devil's Redemption

I look at him more carefully. The room is mostly dark with the overhead lights off. But there is enough light for me to see the slow rise and fall of his chest underneath his strong arms, folded over him.

“B—b…” I try to call out for him, but again, I can’t get my voice to work.

It feels like razorblades have been dragged across my esophagus, severing my vocal cords along the way. These few movements, though small, have sucked up the majority of my energy. Closing my eyes once more, I slip back out of consciousness again.

* * *

My eyes twitch as light streams in through my lids.

Someone’s here.

I slowly open my eyes so I can watch them walk down the stone steps, like I do every time, craving that warm pleasure I know is coming.

But when I open my eyes, I see Hawk. He’s got a clipboard in his hand and he’s flipping through papers attached to it. He glances at me before looking back at the paper but ends up doing a double take.

“Hey,” he greets me gently. “Nice to see you awake.”

I don’t respond to him because I don’t know if I agree.Isit nice that I’m awake? Would I rather slip back into the dreamlike state I’ve been in for God only knows how long? I feel like one has to be better than the other. But I both crave and loathe each option.

“How do you feel? Are you in any pain?”

I do a mental check of my body, but the pain feels too vast to list.

“Yes,” I whisper and wince at the burning ache I feel.

He shines a light into my eyes, and I close them quickly.

“I need you to open for me. Just for a second.”

Ah, ah. Keep those sexy legs open for me.

Failing to push the memory of Jasper from my mind, I reluctantly open my eyes once more, letting Hawk examine them with his flashlight.

“I’m going to give you some Ibuprofen for the pain and swelling, but that’s the best I can do for you, Sasha. I’m trying to get the drugsoutof your system. Not put more into it.”

No more warmth? No more pleasure?

“What do you remember?” he asks as he pulls a syringe out of a drawer and fills it with medicine.

I can’t tell him. Not only because I can’t relive what I went through, but I’m too embarrassed and ashamed.

I wish you could see the way you’re glistening, princess.

My eyes prick, tears threatening to fall as Jasper’s voice taunts me, reminding me of the traitorous way my body reacted to his touch.

“Nothing,” I mutter, not looking at him.

When he’s finished filling the syringe, he walks around the bed and connects it to the needle that’s in my arm. The liquid feels cold when it hits my bloodstream, and I shiver slightly. Once that syringe is empty, I expect him to walk to the counter and place it in the sink. But he doesn’t. Instead, he pulls out another syringe. He must have noticed the fear in my eyes as I react toward the unknown substance.

“This is Suboxone. It will help you with the side effects of the heroin withdraw.”

I wonder how he knew they were pumping me full of drugs. He must have performed a toxicology test when they got me back here.

Howdid they get me back here?

“And this is Zofran. It will help with any nausea you may experience as a side effect of the Suboxone.”

As I watch him empty the last syringe into my IV, the taste of everything he gave me floods into my mouth. It makes me gag, and I feel like I could be sick. Thankfully, the feeling doesn’t last.

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