Page 13 of Injustice and Absolution

She giggles as Mickey lifts her, and she wraps her legs around his waist. I watch with both disgust and another unhealthy dose of jealousy as he carries her into the darkness behind the shed.

“Okay, then,” Ronin chimes in next to me. But I don’t hear what he says after that. Instead, my eyes scan the group of people on the other side of the large bonfire.

The adults.

I haven’t seen Royce for a while and wonder where he went. He’s been very standoffish since I saw him earlier today. Is he mad that all these people have taken over his backyard to celebrate me? I’ve often wondered if he resents taking me in.

The morning after I confessed my secret to him, I went home to an empty trailer. At first, I didn’t think much of it, I just thought my dad was out.

When the time came for me to be in my room that night and he still wasn’t home, I knew something wasn’t right, but I didn’t call anyone for help.

Who did I have to tell anyway?

I didn’t know what to do. If I went to look for him and he came back while I was gone, he would be angry I wasn’t waiting in my room for him as I should have been. If I told someone he wasn’t home, would he have been angry that I tattled on him?

I wondered what would have happened if he never came home. I hated him, but the thought of becoming a ward of the state scared me more. At least with my father, I knew what to expect.

Then I started panicking.

I thought he was testing me to see what I would do. Like a new, cruel game he wanted to play with me. I laid in my bed in the fetal position for three days. I didn’t get up to answer the phone. I stayed still through each painful hunger cramp and even when my bladder was stretched so tight it felt like it would burst.

I waited for him to come home or jump out from wherever he was hiding like he did sometimes when he wanted to scare me.

On the third day, someone began pounding on our front door. When I didn’t answer, the sound of the door getting kicked in echoed throughout the tiny dwelling. That’s when I heard him.

Royce.

He called my name as he walked the short distance from the front of the trailer to my bedroom. When he found me, I can’t remember what he said or how he looked at me, but I do remember him carrying me out of there, enveloped in his arms and comforted by his scent.

I passed out before he even got me into his truck. And I didn’t wake up for weeks. When I did, Maggie told me someone went back and packed up all of my clothing and belongings, and that I’d be living with them from now on.

I didn’t understand how Royce knew my father left. Why he thought he’d never come back for me. They’re just a few of the questions that have been eating away at me ever since that day. And the only one who can give me any of the answers I seek is also the one person I’ll never be able to have. It’s the true reason for my jealousy as I picture what Mickey could be doing to Jennah behind the shed.

“Yo, birthday girl! I’m pretty sure you have to drink to that one,” Becka teases playfully, calling me out. I have no idea what was said, nor do I ask them to repeat it.

Fuck this game, and fuck not having answers. I down the rest of my beer then toss the empty bottle back into the cooler.

With liquid courage flowing once again, it overpowers all my negative thoughts. It propels me from the hay bale I’m sitting on and marches me toward the house. I can hear Becka calling out from behind me, telling me that she was just joking around, but I don’t acknowledge her.

I’m on a mission, and I’m not backing down until I get what I want.

* * *

With significantly less gusto than I had before I climbed the steps to the second floor, I turn away from my and Maggie’s adjoining bedrooms.

At the opposite end of the hallway is the house’s primary bedroom.

Royce’s bedroom.

I wasn’t sure if he was up here when I began my quest, but when I see the light from his room glowing through the sliver of space between the door and the floor, I know he’s in there.

Keep going, Delilah. Don’t wuss out.

Taking a deep breath, I push any fear aside and slowly walk toward the door. As I get closer, I breathe in his scent as it hangs in the air around me. It seeps into my veins and settles deep within me. It’s soothing, and I appreciate its crisp spice mixed with a hint of something else that can only be described as strong masculine virility.

It’s both my weakness and my strength.

I want to blanket myself in the comfort it still brings me after all this time. I let it hypnotize me through the last few steps I take until I reach his closed door.

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