“I don’t need his approval,” I insist as I straighten the stack of jeans in front of me. “And he islikea father to me.”
Though he’s never felt like one, I offer the statement to Drew to help my cause. But the sudden correlation between Royce and my own father—and what I’ve done with both of them—hits me hard enough to almost knock me over.
“Uh … but,” I try to recover by shoving that fact so far to the back of my mind, I’ll never stumble upon it again. “It’s more because he’s the president of the Gettysburg Bastards, and he needs to make sure you’re not a threat to the club. That’s all.”
Forgetting the jeans I’m using to distract myself, I move to the front of the store and situate my body between Drew’s parted legs. Placing my hands on his hips, I keep my head bowed.
Until he places a finger beneath my chin, raising my face to him.
“Well, it sounds more like he’s trying to control you.”
“It’s not like that.” I honestly believe what I’m telling him.
“Oh yeah? So does he require the same meet and greet of every other guy who happens to come into the life of a club-affiliated girl? Does he demand the same from hisactualdaughter?”
At least I believed what I said until he asks methat.
My brows furrow as I think back over the years. Fernando and Maggie were so young when they first met. This never would have applied to them.
I try to recall hearing about anyone else he demanded to meet. I have no recollection of hearing it from any of the harlots. Although I think they only sleep with club members.
He never asked to meet the other guys I slept with. Though I don’t know if he knew about them. For starters, we didn’t have sex at the house like Drew and I did. But those were also one and done. A relationship never formed with them like it has with Drew.
“Not that I know of...” I frown, now questioning Royce’s intentions myself.
“Exactly. Listen, I’ll meet the guy if it will make you happy. But to be perfectly honest with you, as someone with an outsider’s perspective on the situation, I don’t like how he’s treating you.”
I don’t know how to respond because my feelings are confusing me. And not for the first time, I feel a little guilty that Drew doesn’t know it was Royce I was referring to when I told him I was struggling to get over someone.
But Drew omitted a lie that could have hurt me when we first met too. It’s the same thing.
Though I’ll never be able to come clean to Drew about this.
“I’ve seen, firsthand, what controlling someone looks like, Delilah.” Pain flashes in his stare as he offers me a bit more of his past than he has before. Does it have to do with his parents? “And I hate the thought of it happening to you.”
I start to tell him that’s not what’s happening, but I stop myself and think again of everything that’s unfolded between Royce and me.
Him fucking me. Discarding me. Ignoring me until hesomehowfigured out I’d slept with Drew. Now demanding something of me he’s never demanded from anyone else associated with the club before.
Is Royce trying to control me or punish me for moving on? For doing exactly whathetold me to do? Before I go further down that rabbit hole, Drew speaks again.
“When you and I first met, you mentioned you’d been looking for an apartment. Is that still the case?”
I haven’t actively looked for one since meeting Drew. Spending time with him quickly took up all the available free time in my schedule. But maybe it’s time to continue looking.
Then I wouldn’t have to worry about Royce meeting Dreworhis new dumb rules for Maggie and me. Thinking back to the conversation in his office that evening and to a moment ago when Drew asked if Royce treated Maggie like this... Something now doesn’t seem quite right about it.
It doesn’t make sense to implement the “no boys in your room” rule for Maggie who has been with Fernando for years. The two of them have been having sex for a long time, and Royce has never once voiced an issue with it.
Actually, there was one time he yelled at her about it. But he wasn’t mad they were having sex, only that heheardit happening.
He also never expressed an issue with them sharing a bed, especially after Fernando moved in with us. And now that he’s in the army, he’s rarely at home anyway.
So, clearly—and quite unfairly—that rule was made for me, and me alone. Maggie was just an unwilling decoy to make it seem like he wasn’t singling me out.
And for the first time since he left me on that rock in the middle of the night, I realize I’m angry with him.
Looks like I’ve finally reached stage two of grief.I thought it was my common sense I was grieving, but boy was I wrong. And I let Royce make me think that night was all my fault.