Page 104 of Injustice and Absolution

“Josie, I... It was all a big misunderstanding. And I never meant to make him feel that way. At all. The last thing I want to do is hurt him. I tried to talk to him last night, to smooth things over, but he wouldn’t even acknowledge my presence.”

“Can you blame him?” Her words cut through my aching chest like a knife.

Fighting back bile, and now tears, I shake my head.

“I think if you do this for him, it will show him how much you care. How sorry you are...”

“If I get up on that stage and get naked, he’ll go apeshit. I’m trying to make him forgive me, not piss him off further.”

“You only have to take your top off, not get fully nude. You know that,” Josie explains as though it makes all the difference in the world. When I don’t relent, she continues, “Listen... Above all else, Drew is a businessman. If Spotlight has a bad night, he has a bad night. I will make sure he doesn’t get angry at you.Youmake sure he has a good night. In the end, you both win.”

I can feel the uneasiness growing on my face.

“I really don’t think he’s going to react like you’re imagining he will. But if so, I promise I will make him see that you only did it to make him happy,” Josie assures me, using just the right words that will force me into action.

I want to make Drew happy.

I want him to know how sorry I am.

I want him to be proud of me again.

* * *

Taking one of the deepest breaths of my life, I lock eyes with my reflection in the mirror of the vanity I’m sitting in front of. Josie has been keeping Drew busy while Haven styles my hair into two long French braids and helps me “elevate my makeup,” as she called it.

She’s also been giving me some tips while she works. Ways to make my body wiggle like I never knew it could in order to drive the men wild. The women too, apparently. Haven said a lot of times, the men come for their women more than for themselves.

She also gave me a brief beginner’s introduction to pole work. How to latch onto it just so, so I won’t fall off and land on my ass. As much as she’s tried to prepare me, I don’t feel ready. I don’t know if I ever will be.

“Okay, I think that just about does it.” I watch as Haven secures the final bobby pin in place. “Let’s have a look at you in the full-length.”

I follow her to the closet where Drew had me try on the Spotlight uniform which now feels like ages ago. When she opens the door and I lock eyes on my full reflection, I almost stagger with shock.

Haven straightens and fusses with both my hair and the sliver of material I’m draped in as I take in the sight before me. I barely recognize the girl l see. She’s everything I wish I was.

Beautiful.

Confident.

She appears carefree, even amidst the turmoil storming through me like a squall on the open ocean.

I think my adrenaline is working like a mind-altering drug. Either that or it’s the 2 shots of Casamigos Haven and Josie forced down my throat earlier.

I don’t feel as though I’m in the present; it’s more like I’m floating through a dreamscape where my fear swirls together with hope for a good outcome so quickly, I don’t have time to be scared before excitement and anticipation barrel through it.

My eyes wander from my makeup covered face down to my chest where my boobs are wrapped in an iridescent, green bikini-type bra that ties in the back for easy removal. Over it is a sheer black, long-sleeved crop top shirt and matching sarong that doesn’t hide anything. It just gives the illusion that I’m covered up.

But it’s one more layer of clothing I have to take off. Which, at this point, I’d like to put five more of them on to minimize the amount of time I’ll have to be topless on stage.

My bra is matched with one of the smallest thongs I’ve ever seen in my life. One wrong move and everyone in the room will get a glimpse of something I have no intention of showing them. Thank God I’d just shaved down there.

Tying the whole outfit together are the quintessential six-inch tall, black and clear, platform stripper shoes with sharp stiletto heels Haven forced on my feet at the beginning of this nightmare. They’re certain to cause the most embarrassing and painful death the moment I try to shake my ass or swing on the pole.

I just hope I don’t impale anyone with them.

“Okay, you’re gorgeous,” Haven admires, having finished her final inspection of me.

I smile at her weakly as I swallow the ball of nerves stuck in my throat. She closes the door then places a hand at the small of my back, leading me down the hall and backstage.

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