Page 41 of Misery and Ecstasy

Truth is, I don’t know if I’m ready to talk about what happened with anyone yet. I’m still having a hard time processing it myself.

“Yeah?” Tightening the bolt into place, he spins the tire before giving it a shake to make sure it’s secure. “Well, judging by the fact that you appear a little lighter on your toes this afternoon than you have been in a while, I’m going to take a stab at it and say it has something to do with that doctor lady.”

My head snaps up, and my eyes lock on his.

“How do you know about the doc?”

“Royce told me about making you go. He asked me to help keep an eye on ya.”

I Incline my head, not exactly happy he knows but not angry either. I get it.

I’m sure I would have told him eventually anyway.

“Well…” Rubbing my chin, I brace myself for whatever reaction Atticus will have once I tell him what I was up to this afternoon. “She’s finally getting me to open up a little.”

“That’s good, then.” Atticus points to the new rear fender we got earlier at the parts store. I pick it up from the ground, and he helps me slide it into place over the tire.

I look across my bike at Atty as he secures the fender in place on his side.

I’m suddenly overwhelmed with the desire to spill the details of what happened earlier to him. I don’t know why or where this need is coming from. It’s not like he and I have discussed our sex lives in length before. Maybe it’s the sharing bug the doc is trying to instill in me. Or maybe it’s the fact that it was a one-time, casual hookup.

MaybeI need him to keep me convinced that nothing will ever come of it.

I wait for him to pry more, to help pull what I’m dying to tell him from me, but it’s almost like he’s avoiding my eyes on purpose. He focuses his attention on the fender, causing me to blurt it out on my own.

“I fucked her, Atty.” His grip on the socket wrench loosens, resulting in it clamoring loudly to the ground below. His wide eyes shoot to mine, his mouth brimming wide with excitement. “Twice.”

The second the information is out, I regret it. Casual or not, she deserves more respect than that. At least I didn’t say it as though it was a conquest.

“Well, then…” His eyes relax, and he bites his lower lip.

“Fuck.” I nervously scratch my fingers over my eyebrows. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to blurt that out. You don’t want to hear about that. This broad’s got me all fucked-up, talking about my feelings and shit.”

“How the fuck did that happen?” He ignores my rambling. “And is this part of her normal therapeutic routine, because if so, I think I’m beginning to feel a touch of depression settling in my bones.”

Hot jealousy roars through me, but I push it down quickly. I can’t even begin to unpack what feeling that emotion right now means. I just hope I kept my reaction from my face so Atticus didn’t notice. But the cock of his eyebrow and slight lift at the corner of his mouth tells me he did.

Fuck.

“So?” His eyebrows raise as he looks across my bike’s seat at me.

I rear back as I look at him like he has two heads.

“So how did it happen?”

“Oh, um… Shit. I don’t even remember…” My mouth waters as images of her hot, tight body writhing against me flash in my mind. Then it occurs to me that I’d let it slip that I was watching her through her window while she was in bed. “Oh yeah…”

I laugh and scratch the side of my face awkwardly.

“The other night, when I called you to come get me…”

“Yeah…”

“I was at her house. She picked me up from the police station that morning and brought me back to her place for my first session. Well, between my accident, being hungover, and spending the night in jail, I was dog-fucking-tired. I ended up falling asleep on her sofa.”

Atticus gets back to work, but his eyes move back-and-forth between me and my bike, letting me know he’s still listening.

“I woke up in the middle of the night and … kind of went snooping. I ended up finding her … enjoying herself … through the window of her bedroom. It came up in my session earlier, and, well…”

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