Page 60 of Misery and Ecstasy

Us.

I have to stop using that phrase.

Last night, I would have bet money that the earth was shifting. That a connection was being forged, and there was hope I’d found someone to share my life with—at least for a little while. But now, I’m not so sure. Maybe the doc really is in my life simply to help me heal then send me on my way. Maybe it was regret I saw on her face. Is she in misery over what happened … again?

I mentally kick myself for feeling the way I do. She told me last night she was scared. I was dumb enough to think that she could get over whatever fear she has toward being with me after only one night.

If she needs time, I want to give it to her. Which is why I haven’t messaged her today. I don’t want to spook her any more than she appeared to be earlier. And if the next time I see her she tells me it’s over—before it ever even started—I’ll leave her alone.

The group of us walk through the backyard and into the house.

“Draven, can I see you for a minute?” I’m in the house for maybe two seconds before Royce calls for me.

He and I have been on better terms since our blow up the other day, but he still seems to be treading lightly.

“Sure, what’s up?” I follow him into his office, excited that it feels like things may finally be getting back to normal.

“I wanted to talk to you about Doc Caraway.” My stomach drops. His eyes don’t meet mine as he rubs the back of his neck. Fuck. He can’t know about the doc and me. It … could fuck everything up. “How’s that going?”

I sigh with relief, thinking he just wants a therapy update.

“Good. Yeah.” I make sure my voice is firm, nodding my head to drive my point home. “She’s really been helping me.”

It’s not a lie.

I think Royce is going to drop it, but then he inhales and holds his breath for a moment before finally meeting my eyes.

He shrugs and pinches the bridge of his nose before speaking. “What are you doing, man?”

I’m fucked.So much for things getting back to normal.

“What are you talking about?”

Fucking Atticus. Of anyone, I’ve always been able to trust his loyalty. Yet it’s crystal clear that he’s been Royce’s fucking mole this whole time. I should have kept my fucking mouth shut. Fuck meandmy giddy fucking feelings.

“The doc. Come on, man. Don’t play dumb with me.”

I haven’t been this enraged since I knocked my brother out. Atticus has been running his mouth about the doc… I won’t tolerate that kind of disrespect toward her.

Storming out of Royce’s office, I stomp into the kitchen in a frenzy.

“Atticus!What the fuck, man?” Turning at the sound of my shouting, he whips around so quickly he almost loses his balance.Good.Grabbing his shirt in my fists, I pull him closer to me as the rest of our brothers fight to get us away from one another. “You fucking told Royce about her?”

“What the fuck are you talking about? I didn’t say shit about shit to anyone!” The clueless look on his face morphs into disappointment the longer our eyes stay on one another.

Firewall grabs me in a headlock as Rocco and Zephyr each take hold of Atticus’s shoulders. The strength of the three of them pulling on us in opposite directions loosens my hold on him.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Draven?” Firewall pulls me in front of Royce who, apparently, trailed me into the kitchen. “He didn’t say anything to me. I fucking saw the doc leaving your old room this morning.”

What?Oh, fuck.

My vision clears as my anger dissipates. Royce is pissed. I chance a glance at Atticus whose eyes are filled with hurt, knowing I thought he betrayed my trust. Everyone else has filtered into the kitchen and dining room at this point, all looking between us like they can’t believe another fight had to be broken up in our clubhouse for the second day in a row.

“Imagine my surprise as I’m sitting here trying to enjoy my fucking coffee when out of nowhere, who should emerge from the barracks? The last fucking person I would ever want to have unrestricted access to this fucking property.”

I swallow nervously when Royce narrows his eyes at me.

“I almost intercepted her, until I realized she was doing the fucking walk of shame back to her car before she fishtailed and sped down the driveway like she couldn’t get out of here fast enough.”

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