Page 83 of Brutal Knight

Everything was in motherfucking order.

I. Hated. Her.

I pulled out my gun, pointing it.

After tonight, I would hate myself for the rest of my life.

I was going to have to drown myself in rum and more rum, maybe even start using heroin again just to get away from myself.

But right now, the absolute fucking need to pull the trigger and kill the woman who'd capturedmyKnight’s heart was so strong, I could barely contain it.

My whole life, I’d never been good enough.

Not enoughfor the love of my parents.

Not enoughfor Knight to come back for me.

Not enoughfor Rook to run away with me.

And now,not enoughfor Knight to look me in the eyes and tell me the truth.That he loved another woman.

The blood pounding from my heart drained to my feet, and my fingers trembled, and that's when I knew I'd officially lost it.

I never shook when I shot at someone. I'd worked too hard to get rid of my fear of killing.

Except this time, it wasn't in self defense.

My thumb flicked, almost of its own accord, clicking off the safety.

I loathed this plain, average woman. Fucking loathed her as I heaved, staring down at her, suspended in time as I tried to rationalize killing her.

Then…she moved.

It was nothing big.

A slight movement.

A shifting of her arm or something. Small but—enough.

I broke from my spell of rage and in shock at what I’d almost just done. I took a step back. Inhaling a sharp breath, I clicked the safety back on then heard another noise: footsteps, coming my way.

I swiveled, swinging the gun with me, pointing it towards the door. Fingers tingling, my heart raced.

The footsteps stopped, a shadow passed over the gap of the door, and silence descended on the room except for the soft breathing of the blonde woman below me.

Then, small fingers curled around the door.

Mind reeling, heart pounding in my ears as the door swung open, I jerked the gun into its holster, just in time as a small, girly voice called out, “Mommy?”

There was a roar in my ears as I stared at the little girl in front of me. Blonde, curly hair that stuck out everywhere, and bright blue, piercing eyes that widened when she saw me. She tucked a lock of her hair over her ear, assessing me with an intelligent look.

Then, “Who are you?"

The sound of sweet innocence pouring from that small voice killed something inside me.

I'd almost killed this little girl's mother.

I stood frozen long enough that she asked me again, this time her eyebrows furrowing.

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