Page 74 of Magic Betrayed

“There are secrets he doesn’t know. Things I haven’t told him.”

Faris just shrugged. “Then tell him. Let him decide.”

“And the Shapeshifter Court…”

My boss cut me off with a slash of his hand. “Don’t try to protect him from himself,” he warned me. “If you’re worried, tell him. If you’re scared, tell him. Talk about it. Don’t run from it and pretend it’s the noble thing to do.”

So apparently now Faris could read my mind too.

“I don’t know how,” I admitted helplessly. “I don’t know… if I can make myself that vulnerable.”

“Do you like my nephew?”

I liked him so much it scared me. Sometimes it seemed as if I’d begun to crave his presence like some sort of strange drug. I felt happy when he was with me, and cranky when he wasn’t. But that wasn’t the kind of thing I felt like I could tell my boss, and when I didn’t answer, he changed the question. “Do you trust him?”

Weirdly, that was easier. Now, as always, the answer was… “Yes.”

“Then trust him with the truth. That’s the only way to find out whether this will ever work. The only way to make a decision you won’t regret.”

He was right. I knew he was right. But there were too many other things in my mind and heart right now for that conversation to happen.

“Not today,” he added. “Today, let’s take care of business. And when everyone is safe, you two can figure this out.”

I let out my breath in a long sigh. This conversation hadn’t actually fixed any of my problems, but for some reason, I felt lighter.

“Thanks,” I said quietly. “You’re a good person, Faris. I don’t know why you chose us, but you did, and we’ll always be in your debt.”

“Don’t talk nonsense,” he growled, straightening and glaring at me in his usual patented style. “Now stop pretending to clean. You can stay in my office, or you can go home. We’ve fixed the lock on your apartment door, added alarms, and upgraded the cameras, so nobody is getting in there without me knowing about it. I suggest you go and get some rest before tonight.”

I threw in the towel—literally—and managed to hit the laundry hamper from halfway across the kitchen. A good omen, I hoped.

“Okay,” I conceded. “I’ll try.”

* * *

Spoiler alert:I failed.

Miserably. Spectacularly. Thoroughly. Pick your adverb.

I would have sworn the next five hours were actually five days. They contained multitudes—of worries, fears, memories, anxieties, and downright horrors. When I couldn’t sleep, I paced, and when I got tired of pacing through the haunted rooms of my apartment, I left and wandered the streets instead.

Was it safe? Possibly not. But I’d taken out five Idrian mercenaries, defeated the elemental queen, and survived multiple other attempts on my life. Callum seemed to think I was dangerous enough to give most other Idrians pause, and frankly, I was almost hoping someone would try me. At least if I was attacked, I wouldn’t have to spend the next few hours flailing around, feeling helpless and afraid.

It was late, but at least it wasn’t cold. Oklahoma weather in January could be anything from below zero to seventy-five, and for the moment, it had chosen to be a relatively pleasant temperature. But the decent weather meant there were others out sharing the sidewalks. I tried not to glare at everyone I passed, or let them see the turmoil eating me up inside, but I did notice a handful of pedestrians giving me a wider than normal bubble as we passed one another.

Myriad Gardens held too many memories and Bricktown was too busy, so I wandered north, and paused just outside the Oklahoma City National Memorial with its twinned bronze gates and reflecting pool.

Along the south side of the pool, the Field of Empty Chairs left a ghostly pattern of light and shadow—each chair representing a life lost in a moment that had carved indelible scars into the heart of this city.

Now, this was a place of quiet. Of remembrance. Of healing. One that honored both the dead and the living.

The scars were still there. The pain would never be forgotten. But the city was thriving. Growing. A testament to the resilience of its people and the power of community.

I wanted that same renaissance for myself. For Kes and for Logan and for Ari. But some days I doubted whether it was possible. Doubted whether we would ever be safe for long enough to heal. Doubted whether the dreams and the memories and the guilt would ever leave us.

From what Faris had said of Morghaine, perhaps they never would. But if there was one thing I recalled of the former dragon seneschal… she’d seemed to be at peace. Despite everything she had suffered, her life was not consumed by the pain.

Maybe… Maybe when this was all over, I could ask if she would be willing to talk to me. Maybe there was some sort of wisdom she could impart that would make all of this make sense. Tell me what I needed to do. Or even what I didn’t need to do.

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