Page 17 of The Game
Only she hadn’t answered.
Apparently, she’d been so unaffected by the time they’d spent together, she’d happily accepted a new job, hadn’t thought twice about leaving at a moment’s notice, and was now too distracted to answer her damn phone! He wasn’t feeling charitable enough to give her the benefit of the doubt, to consider that she might already be in the air, on her way back to her old life.
God, he’d been an idiot! Alyssa had warned him; she’d set the rules. And even though he’d made an effort to follow them, he’d immersed himself too deeply in the game they’d been playing. And now, as a result, he’d lost.
He put all self-censuring thoughts on hold when he noticed the class getting antsy. He still had everyone running high-intensity partner drills, but it was probably time to start their cool-down exercises. When he gave the order for them to drop to the grass, most did so a bit more forcefully than usual, and a chorus of relieved sighs rang out across their training space. A few dog-walkers and people jogging on the path nearby turned curious glances in their direction.
Chastened, Dean took it easy on them and set a few basic exercises. Lying on his back, he modelled a leg stretch, and as he stared at the canopy of peppermint trees, he realised it was probably a good thing Alyssa had left. If they’d carried on much longer, if she’d stayed another week like she’d planned, who knew what would’ve happened. Maybe he’d have fallen even harder. He would have made a fool of himself by declaring his feelings, and she would have been forced to let him down gently. God, just the thought of the humiliation he’d so narrowly escaped made him want to rip his own heart out and stomp on it.
No, he decided, things had definitely turned out for the better. At least this way, he still had his dignity. Sure, he’d miss her, but he’d go back to the way things had been and get over her. Simple as that.
Because it wasn’t as if he had any other choice.
With stretches done, Dean stood and dismissed his class. As everyone dispersed, he began shoving his gear carelessly into his bag. He couldn’t wait to get out of here; with Kate and Matt heading off to visit Matt’s family for the day, he’d have his place to himself, and he planned to hibernate and wallow in his misery.
‘Thanks for the session, Dean.’
He glanced up, though he didn’t stop packing. One of the women from his class—Sasha, or maybe her name was Sarah—stared at him expectantly. She’d been the one who’d waved and called out to him that first day he’d spent with Alyssa, when they were sitting on the bench sipping coffee and he’d been eager to have his chance with her. Well, he’d had his shot, and now that he knew how it felt to hold her, to taste her, to laugh with her, he didn’t know whether he’d cherish the memories always, or whether he wanted to forget every last second they’d spent together.
Bloody hell. He was a mess.
Zipping up his bag, he turned to leave, surprised to see Sarah—or was it Sasha?—still standing beside him.
‘I was thinking of grabbing a coffee, then taking a walk along the beach afterwards,’ she said, throwing her thumb over her shoulder. ‘Wanna join me?’
‘No, thanks,’ he said absently. ‘I’ve got plans.’ He made to move past her, but she put a hand on his arm to stop him.
‘You pushed us pretty hard today.’ She smiled coyly at him, as if expecting him to acknowledge her observation.
He said nothing, just gave her a blank stare.
‘You seem distracted.’ She let her hand fall slowly, her fingers tracing a path over his bicep. ‘If something happened to upset you, I don’t mind cheering you up.’
Dean glanced from his arm to her suggestive gaze. Her lips curled in a knowing smile, as if she believed there wasn’t a chance in hell he’d turn her down.
He should take her up on her offer. She was gorgeous and willing, and they could have a lot of fun together. Hadn’t he only just been thinking about life getting back to normal so he could get over Alyssa? Well, here was his opportunity being served up to him in skin-tight lycra. All he had to do was say yes.
But when he thought of sitting across from her in a cafe, of making obligatory small talk before heading back to his or her place, of touching her and letting her run her hands over his body … he felt nothing. Only emptiness.
There’d been a time, of course, when he wouldn’t have dreamed of rejecting her. But that kind of game didn’t interest him anymore. He knew now, firsthand, what it was like to havemorewith a woman—something beyond just a physical relationship. He’d had a deeper connection with Alyssa; they’d been friends first, and that kind of connection had made their intimacy so much …more. He wanted her, but then, he’d always wanted her. Now, he wanted tokeep her. And her alone.
He stumbled back a step, the realisation hitting him like a physical blow. Then, that invisible force that had tethered him to Alyssa from the beginning pulled him forward. He needed to see her. To speak with her. To tell her how he felt.
‘I’m sorry, Sarah. I’ve gotta go.’ He took off in the direction of his car.
‘It’s Sasha!’ she called after him.
But it didn’t matter. There was only one name that meant anything, only one name that held a place in his heart.
Alyssa.
If there was a chance she was still at her parents’, he’d take it. If she’d left but her plane hadn’t taken off yet, he’d race to the airport. He might face her rejection, might have his heart trampled on, but that put him in no worse a position than he was in now.
Traces of that long-held fear niggled at him—the one that told him no woman was beyond lying and cheating, that no man was beyond being destroyed by the woman he loved. But Alyssa wasn’t his mother, and he wasn’t his father. He had to believe they were stronger players in the game of love than his parents, that they could learn the rules, overcome all obstacles, beat the odds and cross the finish line hand-in-hand. Otherwise, what was the point of feeling this way?
He might not have all the answers, but he had to face his fear and give their relationship a shot. As he jumped in his car and peeled out of the car park, he couldn’t help thinking of the last time he’d faced a fear. He’d jumped out of that plane, hoping to god he’d land safely. And when he had, Alyssa had been waiting for him with open arms and had given him the sweetest damn kiss of his life.
Only time would tell if she’d be waiting for him again.
