“You know more than anyone the importance of giving a person space after something like this.”
“Of course.”
“And respecting their wishes. Not making their recovery harder.”
“Don’t end us, Mia,” he whispered. “Not like this.”
I turned my back to him and pretended to fall asleep.
SEEINGMIA SO SHAKEN ANDfull of pain was an agony I couldn’t bear. As I closed the door to her cabin, it took all my willpower not to go back in there. Doing so would have been the single most selfish act I’d ever committed.
Henry was right…I didn’t deserve her.
I returned to my seat and rejoined Richard, Scarlet, and Shay, who had cracked open a bottle of Nicolas Potel.
I finally allowed myself to eat, though I merely picked at my steak—the hollandaise sauce was too rich and my guilt too full to manage much else. My body ached from head to toe from the fight with Chastain, but my pride was hurt worse. I’d lost the most important person in my life, who I’d risked everything to save.
Scarlet and Richard did their best to comfort me. We talked into the night. I’d missed them and this was a strange reunion. The fact that they’d interrupted their lives and sprang into action to fly to France and enter Hillenbrand proved our friendship was enduring.
Mia will come round…
And what then? The danger for her would never be over as long as she was associated with me. I chose to stare out the oval window, wondering how the hell I was going to find the strength to do what was right for everyone.
It was mid-morning when we landed at JFK. A car was waiting for us on the runway.
I insisted that Scarlet and Richard return to L.A., and arranged for the jet to be refueled and for a fresh pilot to be commissioned to get them home. Our goodbye was an emotional one because I owed them the kind of debt that could never be repaid.
Shay, Mia, and I were all too jetlagged to make much conversation in the SUV as we drove through the streets of New York. Mia rested her head on my shoulder, dozing off. I eased my arm around her and stroked her hair, savoring this closeness that I knew would soon end.
We arrived at the penthouse just after midday and Henry was at the front door ready to greet us.
Mia ran into his arms and hugged him. He wore the expression of a man who didn’t believe he deserved her affection. As we moved into the living room, Mia seemed more concerned for him than herself.
When she excused herself to go catch up on some much needed sleep, Shay, Henry, and I sat quietly in the living room, wallowing in our guilt and going over what we could have done differently.
“Can I come stay with you?” I broke the silence, holding Henry’s stare.
“Of course.” He swapped a wary glance with Shay. “We need someone to stay here, though.”
Leaning back on the couch, I felt a twinge of jealousy as the obviousness of this statement rippled through me. “Maybe one of your staff?” I looked at Shay.
“I’ll stay,” he said, then realized his mistake and offered an alternative. “I’ll have a female officer stay.”
I pushed myself up. “I’m gonna hit the sack. I’ll head in to work tomorrow.”
I stopped halfway down the hall, debating whether sleeping with Mia was a good idea. Of course I knew it was futile, but the thought of sleeping in our guestroom left me feeling bitter.
Henry followed me. “Are you gonna to tell me what happened?” He gestured at my bruised face.
Caressing my jaw, I mulled over what was safe to share. “I walked into a wall.”
“You’re an annoying bastard.”
“Lately, you’ve leaned toward being an asshole yourself.”
He sighed. “How’s Mia?”
“Shaken, understandably. She needs to talk it through with a specialist. I’ll set up an appointment.”