What hurt me most was the knowledge that Astor’s trust in this world had been shattered again…by me. He’d saved his mother all those years ago, but in doing so had ruined his own life. Glancing up at the sprawling manor I realized it was nothing but a prison keeping the past alive and those who dwelled within it forever trapped.
Unwittingly, I had reaffirmed his distrust in the world, tainted his happiness.
As I drove my Alfa Romeo down the long driveway, I refused to glance in my rearview mirror and be reminded of all I had ruined.
ISLAMMED THERANGEROVER’Sdoor shut and stomped toward the strip club. I wiped sweat from my brow. After blasting air-conditioning in my car, I’d been hit by a wave of Florida’s sticky heat when I had climbed out.
Usually I didn’t care, but lately, small things had bothered me more.
This afternoon, I had walked away from the first woman who had ever gotten to me in a way I didn’t know was possible. Raquel had thrown my instincts off and I’d succumbed to her smile, her voice, the way she walked…her body had left me craving more.
I couldn’t get her out of my thoughts, couldn’t believe what I had with her was over. Our beginning had come to an abrupt end. We had felt perfect together, our bodies and minds melding as one in such a way that I had dared to believe I had at last foundthe one. Our connection was so profound that the inner numbness I’d felt for most of my life had finally lifted, allowing a deep love to touch my heart. We had parted cruelly, ending my long-sought after happiness.
All that was left was that old familiar loneliness.
The sound of rock music grew louder as I headed into the club, a musky aroma immediately assaulting my senses. I could smell the scent of spilled beer and spicy chicken wings. Upon the center stage danced a slim stripper wearing only a thong, her fake breasts jiggling and a faker smile hiding her boredom. Men stood around the stage, now and again sliding dollar bills into her thong. They were rewarded with flirty smiles as she bent over to show off her butt.
The stripper found my gaze on her in the crowd and I politely gave a nod and then focused on finding my sister. Penelope was in a booth with her friend Mirabelle. I slid in and sat opposite them.
“How did you know I was here?” Penelope asked. “Erwin?”
Her driverhadtipped me off but I wasn’t going to let her know that. “Gut feeling.”
“Why are you here?” Penelope slurred her words.
“We talked about this,” I shouted over the music. “I don’t like you coming to these places.”
“You need to lighten up,” she said. “Wanna drink?”
Fuck it.Actually I did.
I gave a nod.
“What do you want?” Penelope got the attention of a roaming waitress.
“Scotch,” I mouthed.
She made sure the waitress got my order. “On the rocks,” she told her.
“Macallan,” I said.
The waitress threw me a seductive look. “Sure.”
I didn’t want to be here. I wanted to be hanging out with Raquel at a restaurant or on a boat as we watched the dolphins swim beside us—or better still I’d prefer to be in bed gloriously fucking her.
“How are you?” Mirabelle called over.
“Fine.” It was all I could be bothered to say to her. She was a bad influence on my sister and I was exhausted from landing back at square one with that same conversation about her reckless behavior.
My scotch was set before me and Penelope muttered something about putting it on their tab. I threw cash on the table anyway and then gave her an accusing glare.
“No. I don’t do that shit anymore.”
“Glad to hear it.” Though her dilated pupils revealed she’d done a hit of something, and it was probably cocaine. She wasn’t just high on booze. Now wasn’t the time to threaten her with rehab.
“Is it over?” she asked.
“Is what over?” I leaned forward to hear her better.