Page 152 of Perfume Girl
All I had to do was reach for that pen, sign my name on those papers and it would be over.
All I had to do was betray myself.
And promise never to see Astor again.
JOGGING ALONG THE WATERFRONT ATdawn with Caine sprinting beside me should have been the happiest start to my day. Yet my life still felt incomplete. I couldn’t get Raquel out of my thoughts and couldn’t find solace in knowing she was hurting.
I had to forgive myself for falling hard. I wanted to reconcile the memories of us that were etched in my soul like a torment I could no longer endure. She’d swept into my world and helped me see what was truly important instead of obsessing about business and sales and branding. I had felt like I was living a full life when I was spending time with her.
I needed to work through the betrayal of her taking a job at my company under the guise of a chemist. I needed to let that go and forgive her.
Standing on the wooden boardwalk overlooking the water, I admired the reds and oranges of the brilliant sunrise and drew the fresh air into my lungs with gratitude; this was nature’s beauty at its finest.
I was getting back on track and settling into my usual routine—the one where there was no woman to wake up to and eat breakfast with, or take a walk with, or watch a movie with, or any of those other fulfilling activities we had shared. I was falling back into the place where loneliness was the norm.
Although Caine’s loyal company was helping to soothe my melancholy. It was hard to fall into a depression around his goofy playfulness.
Breathing in the fresh morning air, I admired the lush foliage and the views of the blue-grey ocean. A seagull swooped low and we watched him dive and soar.
I looked down at Caine. “What do you think, boy? Ready for another mile?”
Caine answered with a vigorous wag of his tail and we headed off along the pathway, him pausing briefly to sniff at a scent here and there and me using these moments to look out at the vista.
We paused to admire a sea turtle making his way across the grass toward the water. Going anywhere near it was foolish with the probable threat of alligators lurking just out of sight. I kept an excited Caine tight on his leash until it was time to head home.
With my morning walk done, I drove to my beach house and we ate breakfast.
A few hours later, I showered and shaved and the rest of the morning was spent working in my office. Occasionally I was interrupted by my furry friend, who wanted a pat on the head and a game of tug with the chew toy he’d brought me.
I’d gotten him a large bed and enough toys to keep him occupied for hours. The fact that he was housetrained was an extra bonus. His chip had him now registered to me as his new owner.
The dog I’d had as a boy, the same one I had left behind, had been the one reason I had not gotten another pet until now. This felt like Caine had found me right when I needed him.
He would always remind me of Raquel, the two inextricably connected because of us rescuing him in the storm together. Despite nature doing its worst, I was grateful that it had brought this cute guy into my life.
“We need to get you a bath, boy,” I told him.
He wagged his tail in agreement.
“I take that as ayes.” I rubbed my face into his neck, breathing in the scent of dog that brought so much comfort and was rewarded with his licks and snuggles.
When lunch time neared, I left him to play in the walled garden and drove into town.
My instincts had led me back here—the same strip club I had visited the night before. The bored looking bouncer gave a nod to welcome me in. The music bled out to the street and I questioned whether I really wanted to know the truth. Someone was going to get hurt and I was caught in the middle.
The injustice I had endured as a boy had left me with a deep-seated belief that no one should suffer due to another’s wrongdoing, so I went inside.
I had lingered on the edge of this sentiment many times, having built The House of Beauregard from nothing. One wrong step could result in its downfall. And what hung in the balance of truth was the happiness of those I loved.
With each step I took, I knew casualties were inevitable.
Breathing through my mouth, I braved the familiar scent of stale beer and the greasy aromas from the lunch menu. The place was quiet compared to last night and the music level was more tolerable. I recognized Tiffany amongst a group of five other women who were eating salads in one of the far booths.
Their curious gazes turned on me when I approached them.
With a bright smile I greeted Tiffany. “Sorry to interrupt your lunch.” The last time I’d seen her she’d been half-naked and I’d been in no mood to party.
“Astor, right?” Her accent was pure New Jersey.
