“I’m walking.” Xavier leaned on me.
“It’s protocol, Mr. Smith.” She hurried off for his transport.
“Mr. Smith.” He rolled his eyes. “Next time call me Kingston. It’s believable.”
“Kingston it is.”
Within half an hour, we’d left behind the confines of Cornwall Hospital and I’d driven us across town toward the water.
Xavier leaned forward in the front seat of my Jeep to better see the grand house ahead when we drove through the gates of Royal Court Manor. He stared out of the window, seemingly admiring the abundance of palm trees that lined the driveway leading up to the estate.
With no luggage, I’d have to find Xavier some fresh clothes. Eyeing his size, I considered what clothes of mine might fit him. We’d buy some for him as soon as he was up for a trip into town.
The colonial style interior’s wide-open spaces, decorated with tall palms in lavish pots, cream couches and plush chairs all leant a homey atmosphere. The fans were going at full spin to cool the place. I’d left them like this before leaving to pick him up from the hospital.
Xavier stood at the entrance of the sitting room. He didn’t say anything—he didn’t have to. His expression was full of wonder at the touches of old-world England mixed with the coziness of the tropics. The effect was of time standing still. This was how it had been designed by Victoria when we’d redecorated. A refuge to slip away to and find peace.
“You can stay for as long as you need.”
“Careful, I may never leave,” he said.
I wanted to say that would be fine, but it was so not me. I preferred solitude and isolation and that would never change.
I tried to see the room as he did—as though I were visiting it for the first time. I’d been away too long. These rooms were the sacred keeper of my memories of Victoria. We’d honeymooned here. Afterward, we’d come back frequently, so there were enough memories to last a lifetime.
She should be here…laughing as she ran from room to room, her hair falling across her beautiful face as I playfully chased her through the house.
I should have kept the photos of her displayed. Hiding them away now felt like betrayal. Still, it hurt to look at them. Grief had wrapped its suffocating tendrils around me, and it had been easier to cope without the constant reminder of what I’d lost.
I wondered if Victoria’s ghost ever found its way here…back to me, to our home.
“You okay?” Xavier’s voice broke the quiet.
I shoved thoughts of her aside. “Iced tea?”
“I’d love that.”
“We can drink it on the veranda.” I pointed. “Let me get you settled out there.”
Again, I saw that look of wonder in his eyes as he stared out at the swimming pool and the ocean view beyond. The sun caused the surface to glint and shimmer, bringing a familiar peace. It really was a breathtaking sight.
With him comfortable, I set off to make tea.
When I came back with our cold drinks, Xavier had stripped off his shirt and was lying on a corner lounger fast asleep. I placed his drink on the glass table beside him, then reached for one of the throws and spread it over him. He stirred a little and then fell back asleep.
I had to remind myself he was in his twenties. The lines on his face evened out when he slept to make him look younger and more vulnerable. I stared at him for longer than I should, my gaze roaming over his exquisite features and that full mouth. He reminded me of a sleeping Adonis…the God of desire.
I reined in these foreign yearnings…the shocking thoughts that would turn me from a friend to an enemy. I should be ashamed of myself for thinking such lustful thoughts…
My lips on his.
His hand wrapped around my cock as he squeezed me from base to tip. Him sucking my dick as he knelt before me, looking up at me with those blue eyes that told me he was grateful for the chance. Xavier deep-throating me with such skill that he emptied my balls along with my mind.
Great, I had another reason to hate myself. I’d just saved a man from the clutches of evil and was tempted to take advantage.
This is insanity.
An absurd imagining from a straight man. Brushing my fingers through my hair, I shook off these thoughts. This is what exhaustion brings, I reassured myself. It changes your chemistry and messes with your mind.