Page 5 of Pervade Montego Bay
“Save me from what?”
His eyes darkened. “Me, of course.”
James
Emily couldn’t know that my heart was shattering—that my intense longing for her was burning me up inside.
All I wanted was to wrap my arms around her. Tell her everything was going to be okay. Instead, my weapon of choice was coldness and occasional silence as I kept myself from reacting to her presence.
She had the kind of beauty that made time stand still. I watched as she stood in front of me, her deep green eyes taking in my boathouse, looking as bewitching as I remembered her.
I knew she loved me.
What she could never know, however, was that I loved her, too. I’d fallen for her more deeply than I had imagined possible.
Her feelings for me would cloud her vision. She could never suspect that inviting her into my sanctuary, a place I kept secret from the world, meant I felt something for her. I hadn’t been prepared for the ache of nostalgia that swept over me upon seeing her again after what had happened between us—or my pining for more time with her and Xavier.
I had to let any chance of us reuniting as a threesome die.
I saw through my own lie…this belief that such weakness shouldn’t be tolerated and that I had a responsibility to remain distant. I had once been certain that my profession didn’t allow for extra-curricular emotional involvement. With anyone.
That mistruth had worked its way into my consciousness and taken up residence in my psyche. I’d had the privilege of love once and had massacred everything that was good about it. About her, my beloved Victoria.
Guilty men are not left unscathed.
What I had with Xavier and Emily had been extraordinary. My mind, body and soul yearned to return to those lust-fueled nights. They were the memories I clung to with all my might. We’d dabbled in pleasures that, once tasted, couldn’t be denied. That was where the danger had been ignited. I’d toyed with the idea that revisiting love was possible. I had to burn that hope to the ground.
Despite my better judgment, I’d let the affair go on…the intimacy, the exposure, the brilliant fucking between three people who shouldn’t even be allowed in the same damn room. The distraction was a risk to all of us. My lack of focus caused by these two enigmatic friends could destabilize the universe.
I’d prepared for this moment. Reassured myself I could handle her dazzling beauty, her enduring sweetness, and sassy attitude. What I’d not accounted for was an overwhelming surge of feelings for a woman who was never destined to be mine. She had always been Xavier’s.
Even so, he’d given her to me willingly. I knew in my heart why.
Xavier’s attempt to push this woman into my arms was him trying to break me down. Getting me to a place where I might find room for something more. He’d tried to crack my steely shell. The light he offered had seeped through the cracks of the wall I’d built around my heart and had managed to touch me…for an instant.
The night we’d spent on board that luxury yacht,The Venetian, had made me realize how much I loved this woman—the same beauty standing before me in the floral dress looking windswept and innocent and jet lagged from her long flight.
Though that evening aboard the yacht on the River Thames had brought about the realization of what kind of threat she was under with us in her life.
Another threat loomed with Xavier being gone. He was my right-hand man and the keeper of all my secrets. My best resource to fight political crime had walked away. It was up to me to find him—by any means possible. He was the ultimate tech guru. Which also meant he had the skills to evademe.
I only had one hand left to play…
Her.
“What are you trying to say?” Her voice was a whisper.
“I’m going to do things to you, Em.”
My senses became aroused by her vulnerability, her exquisite naiveté.
She still had no concept of Xavier’s true importance. That he alone had what it took to change the landscape of national security. I’d tried to make her understand when she’d visited my castle back in England. Since then, she’d singlehandedly destroyed Xavier’s trust and sent him hurtling away like a meteorite into the void. We both held the responsibility of pulling him back by any means necessary. Millions of lives were at stake.
Emily’s eyes widened. “What kind of things?”
Could I actually go through with this…touch her and yet remain cold, or at least feign indifference? Could I make her believe there was nothing between us?
My body tightened with the thrill that I might find pleasure in being intimate with her. Of course, I’d find pleasure in it. She was exquisite in every conceivable way. And my duplicitous thoughts were the mark of a monster.
