Page 103 of Enthrall Ecstasy
“Seems like you’re trying to instigate what you think is best for her while ignoring her desires.”
“And how would you know that?”
“End it. Give her to Grantchester or someone who can fulfill her needs.”
Fuck him and his opinion, even if I was about to lead her on.
Lead her into bliss.
Wasn’t that enough?
My gut twisted at the thought he might be right. I’d planned a perverted afternoon with her that would leave us both sated.
But it was nothing close to what Rue was asking for.
“I’ll always love you,” he called back. “No matter how much I hate you.” The charming smile he gave me was his way of defusing the moment and proving his point.
He always needed to have the last word.
Although the built-in variety of two switches seeing each other is naturally enticing, in my experience when rolls weren’t consistently defined, a relationship would soon find itself on rocky ground.
I watched him go.
Then I turned my attention to the library door, beyond which I’d find Rue. Maybe she would be reading a book. Maybe she was holding on to the hope we’d become more.
I reached for the doorknob, and then paused without turning it.
If I joined her in there and reset in motion what we began this morning, I’d be causing more heartache.
I didn’t want to go in and see De Sade’s truth in Rue’s demeanor or have anything to do with the emotion that killed my desire. That useless one called love.
Hurting that young woman would be the worst thing I’d ever done.
And I’d done some terrible things.
Because of that, I’d kept myself so closed off Jake had felt locked out. Letting someone in was more daunting than warfare.
My grip slipped off the doorknob.
I walked away.
I’d sat in the library for hours trying to read and had been unable to see the words—because all thoughts returned tohim.
De Sade had tried to warn me, tried to get me to see reality.
A sob shook me to my core.
Shay had put me in here but wasn’t following through.
He wasn’t coming back.
I couldn’t figure out why.
Pulling back on my emotions, I forced myself to calm down, not wanting anyone to see me like this. Being tearful on my first day would embarrass everyone and probably get me sent home.
Maybe I was still in the library because they were deciding what to do with me.
After pushing up from the couch, I realized there was nothing but grey ash in the hearth. It had died right in front of me.
