Page 48 of Enthrall Ecstasy
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
I looked out the window, trying to hide my embarrassment.
“Listen, Rue, can you refrain from sharing what happened this morning?”
“You mean the part where you ordered me to suck your dick?” said Rue sarcastically.
“I’m serious.”
“What kind of person do you think I am?”
“I like to think a decent one.”
“I know I’m not your type.”
“It’s not that exactly. You’re…”
“I’m what?”
“Look, I think you’ll eventually see that staying away from Pendulum is a good decision.”
“I bet you did some risky things out in Afghanistan.”
“Did you Google me?”
“Yes, there’s not much there—other than your military honors.”
He looked eerily calm. “That’s a no-go subject.”
“Why?”
He looked at me. “You don’t want that in your brain.”
“If it would help you to talk, I’m here.”
“That’s like trying to stop a boat from sinking when it’s lying on the ocean bed.”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
“It’s what I signed up for.”
My heart ached for him. Reaching out, I laid my hand on his. He turned his over and held mine.
If silence could bring meaning…I will find you.If a touch conveyed emotion…find me.
Even though we were strangers.
He looked off toward the door and pulled his hand away. I followed his line of sight.
Carrie had opened the door.
I’d thrown myself at him and he’d rejected meagain.
He moved in circles I coveted, his access to elite societies around the world enviable.
I’d never be part of that crowd.
Panic settled in my gut at the thought that he was my only chance at sexual fulfillment.
