Page 53 of Enthrall Ecstasy
My back stiffened. “That’s fine.”
It wasn’t.
It was bad enough having him at Chrysalis, but here? An interesting choice on his part, and it made me feel both annoyed and intrigued.
Richard looked uncomfortable as though wanting to share more.
“Have I come up in conversation?” I asked casually.
“No.” He tilted his head. “Yes.”
“The subject?”
He hesitated to answer.
“I don’t think about that anymore.”About us.
Richard didn’t seem convinced. “Right. Good. Well, he’s here with Rylee. Thought you should know in case you bump into them.”
Glancing away, I tried to fathom why I’d allowed myself to believe in something that wasn’t possible, thinking that I could hold down a relationship with anyone.
Because life was crushing and trusting myself wasn’t easy.
Anyway, I should be happy for them…for him, but all I felt was concern. “Which chamber?”
Richard got up from his seat. “Don’t go down there.”
I rose and my chair scraped along the hardwood floor, making an aggravating noise…the kind that frays nerves.
The kind that sounds unhinged.
“Don’t interrupt them, Shay.”
I gave him a look of annoyance. “I’m the cool-headed one.”
Moving over to the wall, I rapped on the secret doorway. The camouflaged entrance popped ajar.
A soft blue glow lit up the way.
Without looking back, I went through into the dusky space and descended the twisting stairwell.
I made my way down to the lower level.
With each gut-wrenching step, I second-guessed myself. Not quite sure why my brain thought this was a good idea.
It was my heart leading me. It always got me into trouble.
I’d learned to shut down my feelings in Afghanistan. It was what we all did, shielding our souls from the horrors we saw and the ones we merely imagined going on around us.
When we returned home, opening ourselves up again was a problem.
Forgetting all that chaos.
It took patience to reach us. Most people couldn’t get past our walls. Most of us refused to give them the privilege to try.
De Sade had been one of the few I’d allowed in.
He’d been so close to the center of me.
