Page 121 of Chandelier Sin
I frowned at Atticus. He was hinting that Lavender House was sinister. “The place was beautiful. Amazing grounds and garden. So many places to hide. So many rooms to explore. You should have seen the inside. Pure Bangkok luxury. I was very lucky to end up there.”
He narrowed his gaze on me. “Other than no family, your life was idyllic?”
Sharing anything else made me nervous. “I married young.”
My origin was scorched into my brain like a forest fire burning across acres of a life. I rarely compared myself to others, but when I did, I knew how different my teenage years were compared to them.
He studied me carefully. “Children?”
A white-hot panic surged through me. “Maybe. One day.”
His brows knitted together.
My answer had been laden with emotion, and I feared he might pick up on it.
I wondered if it was the right time to bring up Eloise. If I misjudged him, I’d destroy my life as well as hers.
Atticus could use this secret of mine to gain favor. His potential betrayal was a possibility.
“I regret not getting Ben to safety when I should have.” I squeezed my eyes shut with shame.
“Sounds like he knew the consequences.”
“Aemon would have found him.”
“He’s murdered others.”
It wasn’t a question; it was him having spent time with him.
I hesitated, which was as good as sayingyes.
Atticus reached over to his bedside table and grabbed a pad and pen, offering them to me.
“What’s this?”
“The names, write them down.”
Incredulous, I blinked at him.
“Everyone your husband has murdered. That you know about, anyway.”
I took the pad and threw it to the end of the bed, and then lay back.
“Until you open up to me, it’s going to be hard to see you in any other way.”
“Other than?”
He meant as an enemy.
In my naivety, I’d believed we were becoming friends.
This loneliness was crushing me, whispering its return.
A fuck.
That’s all I am to him.
Hurt by his coldness, I rolled away and sat up on the edge of the bed, bringing the blanket over and wrapping it around my shoulders.
