Page 178 of Chandelier Sin
Stay strong for her.
All this time, I’d endured a life without her. Not one day going by when I’d not thought of her. I’d sat with her dolls clutched in my arms in what was once her bedroom, tears spilling over as this stream of pain erupted into a never-ending fountain of agony—as raw and excruciating as the first day I’d lost her.
“Eve,” he said softly.
“Don’t.”
“What did Aemon do?” Atticus’ tone had turned sinister.
Saying anything more would be too dangerous. At first, I’d seen Atticus as someone who might be able to help. Now, I was full of doubt.
He pressed his lips to the top of my head, and it was the kindest kiss, gentle and reassuring, but I still didn’t trust it.
“Ben was helping you find her?” He let out a sigh, seeming to realize why I’d not encouraged Ben to leave the house after his attack. “That’s why you stay? For her?”
I released a pent-up breath, revealing he was right.
Maybe now he’d understand why I’d guarded Ben like our lives depended on it. Only he’d lost his because of it.
A mother’s love could make her do terrible things. I’d heard that once and not understood it—until it had become my reality.
“She was sent away,” I confessed.
“Ben promised to help find her,” he whispered.
“It was my fault he died,” the words spilled out of me despite myself.
“That’s why you came to my home? To ask me to help you get her back?” He looked thoughtful. “What made you change your mind that night? Why did you walk away?”
I swallowed my shame. “When you saw my tattoo, I thought you’d believe me to be an unfit mother.”
“The mark of a trafficked woman would sabotage you?”
“I didn’t know what you’d think.” Still didn’t, but we were having this conversation and he seemed to understand, seemed to truly mean what he was saying.
“I feared you’d see me as part of the institution and would refuse to help me. Maybe sabotage me.”
“Stop you from finding her?”
“Yes.”
He looked horrified. “You believed that?”
Sharing any of this was a mistake.
Yet he’d extracted the truth and ripped away the guardrails to my heart.
“Please forget I mentioned her,” I pleaded.
“Her name’s Eloise?”
I swallowed my fear. “Yes, Eloise.” Her name felt perfect in my mouth, bringing me comfort to say it in front of him.
I saw compassion in his eyes.
Still, Atticus was the same man who was brave enough to stand up to Aemon. The same man who’d offered to make a deal with the devil.
His expression turned dangerous. “He has your daughter.”
