Page 245 of Chandelier Sin
“Fuck.” Why did he have to put it like that?
“I’m listening.” His gaze was filled with compassion. “Talk.”
“Is this why you loaned me your plane? I’d be beholden to you?”
“Well, if you’re looking for honesty.”
“I lived and my mom didn’t make it.” There…saying it wasn’t as hard as I’d imagined it would be.
“You’re still carrying the guilt for that?” he said softly. “Refusing to love a woman because you fear you’ll hurt them.”
“There is that small issue of not operating on my sister as well. After her car crash.”
“Not operating on relatives is a strict protocol in any medical facility.”
“The surgeon wasn’t experienced.”
“I’d have let you operate. For the record. I know how well you hold your focus as well as your scalpel.”
“I appreciate that.”
I rubbed my chest, feeling the agonizing emotions well up inside me as my mind replayed that day.
I recalled seeing my sister’s condition when I’d pulled back that hospital curtain.
No, no, and fucking no.
Not doing this.
“The two women in your life, who you loved more than anything, died and you blame yourself, Atti.”
“I should have taken the flight out the next day, and not used your plane,” I joked. “Flown commercial with Virgin.”
“Not to brag,” Cole said, smiling, “but I make over a million an hour. The cost of your flight is irrelevant.”
“This is all about me?”
“All about you, Atti.”
“What do you get out of this?”
“I get an Atticus Sinclair who is completely congruent. Monitoring your mental health with all that’s happened at Pendulum is essential.”
I’d done the same for Eve.
So that’s all this was—Cameron looking out for me.
Still, I went with, “Not sure my past is relevant.”
“What happened after your mother died?”
“Well, they kept her ventilated long enough to perform a C section for yours truly.”
“She died as you were born.”
“Quite the arrival. Killing one’s mom on the way out.”
“You know you had no blame in that.”
