Page 246 of Chandelier Sin
“Try convincing my subconscious.”
“How did your father treat you growing up?”
“He blamed me. As soon as I was old enough, I left home to live with my aunt. She never blamed me, oddly enough. She became like a mom to me.”
“I’m glad to hear that.”
“My childhood was pretty good right up until the day my dad told me what I’d done.” That was how he’d put it, too. Made it sound like murder.
“Have you ever considered that your dad might have carried the same guilt? That he hated for you to grow up without your mom? That maybe she showed symptoms, and he missed them.”
“Probably.” I gave a shrug. “Look, I’ve come to terms with this. I know it’s sad. Tragic, obviously.”
He gave a nod. “She had hepatic dysfunction. There is clinical evidence to support that—proof.”
Discomfort stirred in my gut. “It wasn’t my fault.”
I repeated the words as though only now allowing myself to go there.
“It’s normal to blame your mom for leaving you,” he said. “Only it’s hard to do that when you’re grieving for her as a child.”
“I’ve never told anyone I was angry with her for dying.”
“That anger forged a fear of love. It has been carried with you into every relationship, with every woman you’ve been with.”
“You think me dating married women is related?”
“Exactly. Can’t have them, can’t hurt them.”
I swallowed hard. “Eve is…”
“Different. But you’ll find a way, an excuse not to love her. Then all you went through together will be for nothing.”
“I’ve told you too much.”
“Do you think I have power over you? Does that scare you?”
“Arrogant asshole.”
“Ah, I’ve been analyzed, and it feels fantastic.”
That made me laugh, breaking the tension.
He stood and walked over to his desk, sliding open a drawer and pulling out an envelope. “I need you to drop this off at the mall. There’s a store called Saving Face. Don’t let Stella see you.”
“What’s it for?”
“Don’t tell Jake.”
I slid out the invite and examined the gold embossed card with Chrysalis’ emblem. I understood what he was asking me to do.
“Are you inviting Stella to train as a submissive?” I stared at him, realizing. “A Dominatrix?”
“Yes.”
“Why the secrecy?”
“Jake needs me.” He smiled gently. “As do you.”
