Page 262 of Chandelier Sin
“We respect your reasoning.”
“It’s not safe in that house,” I said, shaking my head. “God knows what kind of men will show up. Or what orders Aemon gave pertaining to me.”
“Which is why I hate you going back,” seethed Atticus.
I raised my hand in a warning that I needed him to understand. The situation was already impossible to endure.
Finally, I whispered goodbye to Eloise.
Cameron got in the car, and Mia and I swapped a knowing look.
The Rolls Royce drove away. I watched it turn the corner and disappear.
No!
I changed my mind and ran after it, trying to catch up with the car.
Atticus caught up to me and dragged me into a hug, holding me tightly. Even so, I fought against him, fought against not beingallowed to reach her, even as my mind knew their car was out of reach.
I burst into tears, my body aching, full of panic and dread, hurt welling like a tidal wave that swallowed me whole.
The agony, the insanity of what I’d just done. How could I do it after all this time, after what I’d already put her through.
“You’ll visit her soon,” Atticus reassured me. “Whenever you like.”
“I’ll see her,” I whispered, nodding. “I’ll see her soon.”
He cupped my face and stared into my eyes. “I hate it, but you did the right thing.”
“I did the right thing.” I needed to get this over with and get back to her as quickly as possible. “I have to go now.”
“Stay a little while,” he said softly, pressing his mouth to my forehead, trying to comfort me the best way he could.
“I have to return to that house,” I said, sobbing. “They can’t notice that anything is amiss, or they might report it to Jewel.”
“How are you this brave?”
“Because of you.” I took a deep breath. “You’ve shown me what’s possible.”
“Letting you go back there…” He shook his head. “How do I do that?”
I looked into his eyes. “I can’t let Eloise grow up in a world where no one does the right thing. I have to believe her future will be brighter.”
“I understand, but—”
“Those women are someone’s daughter, someone’s wife or sister.” I trembled at the thought. “I want my daughter growing up in a safe place.”
“We can accomplish that already.”
“No one came for me. I want you to see I’m a good person. That I deserve you.”
He swiped a stray tear off my cheek. “I came for you. Took mea little time, a few decades to find you, but I did. Now you’re mine. If that’s what you want.”
Resting my head against his neck, I wanted to say that not being his was like living without air.
But I needed to be strong, needed to see this through.
I drew in a sharp breath as I was once again hit with the realization thatshewas gone.
