Page 42 of The Filth Kings

“You thought that I had it better than you, we’ve all been fucked. I’ve been fucked inside and out, it’s so bad that… I still want to look the man that supposed to be my father… in the eyes…just to ask him why? Did he know that after he sold me for a hefty price that I would be subjected to vile things that no infant or kid is supposed to endure. I don’t know what love is, I don’t know who I am either, I have nothing and?—”

“You have me.” I dropped my head in defeat.

“I’m fucked up, my soul doesn’t even belong to me. What you see standing in front of you, is what you will get. I don’t know no other way to be. I’ve accepted who I am, and I know who I am. I’m a monster, a thorn that’s deeply rooted in the ground. You’re just as dark as me, we both lacked the tools in life to ever be normal. I’m okay with that now, you have to become okay with it too. You will never get the answers that you expected to receive from Impurity. He has accepted the dark forces that roam the belly of this earth as his owner. He’s accepted who he is and will never try to deny or fight it. Death will be nothing to him, because he doesn’t have a conscience to eat him alive while he is still breathing. Every man has a weakness though, no matter how good they try to hide it. I control me…” My words trailed off.

“I control me as well.” Monster added.

“I hold all the power to control whatever happens to me in this lifetime as well.” I continued.

“And so do I.” Monster sat all the way up.

We both embraced silence for a while until his phone went off. Monster looked at his phone screen for a while before looking up at me.

“Natavi, you cannot kill her.” His eyes darkened.

“How will she feel about you… if she finds out that your brother is behind killing her best friend?” I asked.

“You’re not going to kill, Angel.” Monster offered a fleeting smile.

“You’ve been watching her for close to a month now, you could have killed her in the coffee shop or in her parent’s home. You convince yourself of killing her but that’s not going to happen, Detavio,” Monster stated confidently.

“I am going to kill her!” I reassured him.

“Do it tonight since you’re so sure about it.” He chuckled dryly.

“I will, I haven’t killed her because it’s been entertaining watching her.”

I couldn’t believe that I was standing here lying… partially. It had been entertaining toying with Angel.But why haven’t you killed her yet?I asked myself, feeling frustrated with myself. I buttoned the top button on my suit jacket and took a step away from Monster’s bedside.

“After tonight, there will be no Angel Willis living,” I stated.

“We will see.”

Nineteen

My head tipped backas I let out a full-bodied laugh. It was well needed, and it made me feel so good. I clutched my side while Natavi waved a half empty glass of champagne carelessly. She attempted to twerk in our private section, but it looked like she was about to pop her back out of place. Natavi couldn’t dance to save her life, she was always trying to either catch the beat or totally off beat.

The table between us was littered with evidence of our big indulgence of empty glasses stained with our lipstick. There were gold plate platters with chicken flats that we left with no meat attached to the bone. Natavi gave up on dancing and flopped down next to me, giggling through hiccups. We leaned into each other; I was the first to wrap my arms loosely around her shoulders.

“I thought your new man was coming to meet me,” I asked with a little bit of a slur to my voice.

“I texted his sexy chocolate ass and he not responding.” Natavi shrugged.

She sat up out of my embrace and grabbed an almost half empty bottle of bubbly and tilted it to her glass. The bubbles sloshed over the rim while I cheered her on. I grabbed the other bottle and poured me up another glass. I told myself that this was my last cup. I was past tipsy, but this felt like me and Natavi’s moment. We hadn’t gone out in so long to just enjoy each other’s company.

“It’s okay, let him be.” I spoke above the music.

“I can’t! Just like you can’t stop blogging about Detavio Decebal.” She smirked.

Natavi, grabbed her purse and pulled her phone out for the hundredth time to check her text messages. A look of disappointment took over her pretty face as she started to peck away again at her phone. Her eyes were wide and bloodshot from the mixture of exhaustion and alcohol. She stared at the screen like it held the answers to all of her questions.

“Don’t be drunk texting him.” I warned her.

My mind went to Detavio, I shook my head and thought about what Natavi said. I needed to drop everything that I was blogging about when it came to the Decebal men before someone got hurt. When I first started out blogging about them, it was mainly centered around Impurity. Now, I posted less about him and made everything about Detavio. I was obsessed and didn’t want to admit that part to myself.

“I can’t help it!” Natavi whined out.

She shoved her phone back into her purse then tossed it to the side of her.

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