Page 50 of The Filth Kings

“It’s not that easy.” I sighed out.

“Why it’s not? If you won’t go to his company, then at least go to this red-carpet event. I’ll go with you as a date.” She cheered.

“What about your baby daddy? He’s already suspicious of us.” I took the blunt from her and took a long pull from it.

“He cheats all the time! I’m not worried about him at all. We make it work for the kids, and he is not jealous of you. He’s just like most ignorant men. He thinks that you’re gay and he despises it. He wouldn’t even know that I’m there with you since he’s too busy running around his hood gangbanging with his homies.” Yani turned toward me and eyed me seriously.

“I really think you should go, and as your friend…I want to go with you to support you. You need this more than you think you do.”

Yani reached out and caressed my arm. I nodded my head and remained quiet as we continued to smoke.

I desperately wanted to see and talk to Detavio. Mom talked so bad about him and Impurity that at one point, I started to believe everything that came out of her mouth about my brother. When we first came back to the states, she stayed away from home a lot.

For a while, a strange guy named Monster was living with us, until he no longer was around and that made her mood swings even worse. I remember her asking me what I wanted for my sixteenth birthday, and I told her that I wanted the chance to talk to Detavio. She exploded and told me that I was starting to act just like them. Later on, she showed me a text thread which I knew was fake. It was a message that had Detavio stating that he’d kill me and her if we ever contacted him again.

That night I cried myself to sleep until I was numb, I knew the text thread was fake because it was a picture that she had saved to her phone. She tried to fake act like she was scrolling up but the screen didn’t budge. I cried because something didn’t feel right, there was so much shit that she kept hidden from me. Something about her gave off wicked witch of the west vibes but I had nothing to go off of and prove it.

We naturally cared and loved who was responsible for giving birth to us. My mom damaged so much shit between our relationship to the point of it never becoming undone. Over the years, I observed just how selfish and heartless she was. My last straw was finding out that the medicine she ministered to me since a kid was hormone pills.

I could have died taking them. It’s when I realized that she didn’t love me at all. She was just obsessed with the mere thought of me being Octavia, a person that she forced to exist without my consent.

Twenty-Three

I stoodin the center of Monni’s living room with my hands on my hips as I addressed two men holding a nice black suede Lazy boy chair.

“That chair can go right there…” I pointed to the corner.

“I want the lamp next to it, right by the window,” I instructed.

A sense of pride swelled inside of me as I watched the men move the heavy furniture with practiced ease. I also discovered that this was something I could see myself doing for work other than taking on clients. I stripped all the worn black wallpaper from Monni’s walls, his furniture was old and mismatched. I also noticed that the lightning throughout his four-bedroom house was bad.

In two days, I was able to come up with different themes in order to bring forth warmth and comfort in his home. Monni had been acting shitty for the past couple of days. Either in his room or not here at all. I missed conversing with him, but this morning when I woke up, a rush of excitement hit me. I started rearranging things before the furniture deliverers arrived.

He didn’t tell me how much or what his limit was for me to spend. So I totally decided on my own to spare no expenses and deck his entire place out. I never gave much thought about designing before. I never seen it as a casual interest or a hobby. Today, the pieces clicked in place. I realized that it wasn’t just about making his space look nice and classy. It was about creating an experience. I wanted him to feel peace and comfort soon as he walked in.

Most of all, I wanted Monni to feel more of himself. If he refused to continue to be my friend after this, it would hurt my feelings but at least he would remember me by all of this. I signed up for online interior design courses, and even looked up local workshops close to Angel’s house that I could join. It felt like I was slowly but surely finding my purpose.

I had spent years living in uncertainty, I had an unnamed longing that I couldn’t figure out for the longest. Everyone that I was surrounded by moved with purpose, their paths well-lit while mines remained fogged up. I had myself to blame, following behind a man who never gave two shits about me to begin with. I talked to my parents in circles whenever they asked me what was I actually doing for myself. My true answer was, absolutely nothing.

If I got into interior design, I would be able to go home to my parents and feel proud of myself. When the men were done moving everything into Monni’s house, I did a walk through, amazed at my brilliant choices. Everything was themed perfectly to fit Monni’s dark personality. A charcoal gray sofa with sleek lines sat against the wall adorned with black velvet pillows. The coffee table made a statement with a piece of dark oak with brass accents attached to it. I added dark wood frame bookshelves in each corner of his living room. I wanted to fill them with books but didn’t want to get too besides myself ordering up a whole bunch of items when I already spent a lot on furniture.

Instead, I filled it with naked black sculptures and glass vases. I eyed one of the bookshelves that was obvious upon walking through the front door. My stomach got tight as I said a silent prayer. I silently wondered if Monni would get mad that I found the picture of him and some Chinese looking girl in his top dresser drawer. It was in a crystal frame, they looked to be young in their teens. The framed photo was the only one that I discovered in his house, and it was too beautiful to be hidden in a damn drawer.

It was obvious to me that the two were good friends. The girl on the picture smiled brightly while Monni’s eyes were void of any emotion. I continued to scan the front room; it was the little details that really stood out the most to me. I smiled to myself, grateful for how this new, dark-themed world that I created reflected a side of him that I had already saw small parts of, but wanted to know and see more to understand him better.

I walked down the hallway to his room that was at the end of the hall and opened up the door. I became giddy inside and impatient for Monni to get home. I would be the first to break in his new bed that was more comfortable than any bed that I ever laid in. Monni’s new bed was larger than his old one. I thought it was ridiculous to have a big room with a bed that was small, so I ordered him a double king bed. The frame was matte black along with the comforter. I ordered a variety of plush pillows with different textures like velvet, leather, and satin, which made it look sensual.

His dresser had a mirror with gold trimmings, and it made all of the black in his room stand out. I went with the colors black, gold, and charcoal gray from the guest rooms, living room, and his room. Monni’s room had a more sensual feel to it. I put heavy black curtains and plush black rugs to cover up the ugly scraped up wooden floors.

Each nightstand had gold and black skull table lamps. I wasn’t sure if his heater worked or if he just kept the AC running all damn day but I ordered multiple mini space heaters for each room. I walked around his room and lit three mahogany teakwood candles that I ordered from Bath and Body Works before going to take a shower in his bathroom.

I hoped that I wasn’t imposing but his shower was bigger than the guest room shower. Plus, I hated walking across the hallway just to go back into my room to lotion and get dressed. Although Monni was back to his normal quiet self, and I had picked up on his shitty mood these past couple of days. I hoped that all of what I did to his house would make him happy. The only space that I didn’t get a chance to order items for was his kitchen. Once he got home, I was going to ask him if I could do that as well.

The steam from the shower wrapped around me like a warm embrace. My mind was light and carefree as I started to sing with my eyes closed as the hot water cascaded all over my face. I lathered up my body then started to rinse off but froze when I heard a loud crash from the other side of the wall.

Seconds later, I heard another loud crash followed by the sound of glass breaking. My mind started to race with the wildest scenario’s that didn’t make any type of sense in my head. My heart rate quickened as the loud banging continued to sound off. My eyes welled up with tears as fear clawed its way up my throat. I couldn’t move, I took in short spurts of air as I listened to all of the violent noises.

The next loud bang grew closer, it sounded like it was inside of Monni’s room. I shut the shower off with shaky hands and snatched a towel to wrap around me. My nerves were so bad, that I almost lost my balance when I stepped out onto the tiled floor.

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