Page 7 of The Filth Kings

Chedda told me that, he was coming to me as a man to give me closure. He explained to me how he knew that I was a good woman and couldn’t take hurting me. I didn’t understand back then, how he didn’t see that he was my first everything. I panicked as soon as he stood and made his way to the door. Calling his name and begging for him not to leave was probably one of the worse mistakes that I made.

I just couldn’t imagine living without him. The way that he loved on me and touched me had my head too far gone. Even now, when I’m with clients, none of them knew my body like Chedda. When he’s not being an asshole, he’s loving and very charming. I wanted the old him back, a small part of me felt like he would soon come around, but as the days went by, I started to understand where Angel was coming from.

My stupid ass thought doing what he asked of me would make him love and respect me more, but it worked against me. The more clients he placed me with, the harder his disrespect came. He no longer talked to me softly, or even kissed me passionately. I admitted to myself four years ago that I was weak as fuck. I always thought out all the things that I wanted to say to him but could never utter them once he was in my presence. I could curse other people out and stand up for myself. I knew how to walk in any room and own it, making females question their own confidence. When it came to Chedda… I didn’t want to be apart from him. It was his gangsta mentality and the way he carried himself that had me glued to him like crazy glue. Chedda was fine as hell and had the gift of gab. I could be having the worse day ever, and he’d say about one sentence, making everything better in less than a minute.

I really didn’t know how to function without him. I think that’s what gave me depression, making me feel low of myself. I could stare at myself in the mirror for an entire hour like I was doing now, and stare back at my beautiful reflection. From the beginning ’til now, I had loved Chedda with all of me.

He would call, and I’d drop everything to tend to him. He was the only man that I have ever loved, and even through the broken promises, and all the lies he told me, I was standing here in booty shorts and a sports bra, awaiting his arrival. I practiced my argument with him over and over and prayed to God that I wouldn’t fold when I finally laid eyes on him today.

I had to explain why this so-called client fired me on the first day. I wasn’t too worried about that because once I told Chedda why he fired me, he would agree that the guy was asking for too damn much. The sound of my front door being slammed rattled my nerves. I sucked in a deep breath and pushed my shoulders back. Gathering courage to face Chedda without my raw emotions on display was a very hard task for me.

“Natavi!” His deep bounced off the walls.

I stepped out of the bathroom timidly. I walked down our narrow hallway then stepped into the living room. Chedda stood perplexed and fine as hell. Dressed casual with light gray sweatpants and a white crewneck shirt, he took his gun out of his sweats and set it down on my glass coffee table.

“What’s good, Ma?” He smirked, opening up his arms for a hug.

My chest constricted as my heart fluttered. My eyes misted over instantly, thinking about him giving all of his love to that wife of his when I was here first.How could he choose her over me?My bottom lip started to tremble at the harsh reality of being a side chick to a married man that kept having baby after baby but made me get rid of every baby he impregnated me with.

“Natavi? I’m standing here with open arms, the fuck wrong with you? Get over here and show me some love, Ma.” Chedda’s voice dropped low.

I sucked in my feelings and ignored the burn in my throat. I felt disgusted with how weak I was. It felt like my world was spinning with raw emotions that I struggled to contain whenever he was around me. I wanted to fall down to my knees and sob in front of him so he could see and understand how broken he was making me.

Instead, I walked into his arms. I inhaled his specialized scent of weed mixed with cologne. Throwing my arms around his neck, I stood on my tippy toes to kiss him on the side of his mouth. I shivered when his hands grabbed a handful of each ass cheek. Squeezing lightly then pulling his right hand back to smack me right on the ass, I got lost in his handsome features.

Chedda was six feet, with almond smooth skin. His thick bushy eyebrows matched the thickness of his long connecting beard. Gold wrapped around his neck and wrist.

“You seem stressed the fuck out,” he murmured as he buried his nose in the crook of my neck.

“I’m fine, I just miss you, Chedda…I miss us,” I confessed, feeling my stomach tighten.

I was ready for his rejection. This time, I wouldn’t make matters worse by begging and crying for his love only for him to turn his back on me.

“I missed you too, baby. You cook for me, though? I got about two hours before I—” He stopped talking as he released me out of his hold.

Chedda plopped down on the couch, opening his legs wide. I looked down at his dick print and frowned at how it stuck up through his sweats. I wondered if he was coming here to fuck or ask me about why his high paying client fired me. Chedda was about his money, he cared about that first. I never had to split my cut with him because, whenever he arranged my clients, he took his finder’s fee and then they paid me my portion, which was always six figures.

I didn’t know how much Chedda got but he seemed to thrive off of it. Who knows how many other females he had doing all of this. He didn’t finish his sentence because he was probably getting ready to say some shit that would surely piss me off; not like he gave a fuck about my actual feelings, though.

“Every time I come around you…You look lost as fuck. Tell me, what the fuck is wrong with you? You getting fired on the first night is new.” Chedda’s eyes darkened.

He pulled a blunt from behind his ear and dug into his pocket to get a lighter. He opened and closed his legs, making his dick jump up and down.

“He’s from Dubai! The money was good, but?—”

“The money is always good, Tavi.” He frowned.

“Yes, the money was good, but he wanted to shit and piss on me! I barely like to open my legs for these men. You told me that you would get more downlow men so they wouldn’t want to touch me! You booked me with the lowest of low with this last client. Do you even give a fuck about me, Chedda!” I curled my top lip to stop it from trembling.

I couldn’t stop the tears, even if a gun was placed to the center of my damn head. Chedda stood up and I flinched. He never open handed hit me, but he could do evil things like pinch the skin off of me whenever he felt like I was being disrespectful.

“You question my love for you?” He asked as he raised one of his thick brows.

“I’ve been questioning it, since you?—”

Chedda pressed his index finger to my top and bottom lip and shook his head.

“My wife and kids, off limits. I know you think mentioning them will make me feel bad, but I don’t. You had a choice… Years ago, I told you that you were too pure, and that I didn’t want to taint you. I tried giving you closure and even tried to walk away.” His tone of voice was cunning.

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