Page 19 of The Filth Kings

Letting my tongue lead the way, I stuck it to the tiled floor until two tiny pills latched on to my tongue, making it easy for me to swallow them down.

“You’re fucking pathetic, Monster! After all of what I told you about Impurity, you constantly take your time to do what needs to be done! He’s the reason why you keep having all of these attacks! Do not forget that you belong to me! I saved you, you owe me!”

My head hung low, eyes still fixed on the floor as I crushed the pills between my teeth. I welcomed the chalky bitterness that coated my tongue. My hands were still unsteady as anxiety gnawed at me relentlessly. Each time I swallowed felt like a weak attempt to break through the suffocating cloud of panic that tightened my chest.

Jalissa’s voice cut through my haze, it echoed from the phone still sitting on the counter.

“Fuckin’ failure! If I knew it would be like this, I would have left you in that tunnel burning!” Her words stabbed at me.

She didn’t know that if she left me in that brothel, she would have done me a favor. I wanted to die that day along with Emi. A part of me was jealous of the fact that Emi was free and happy while I was stuck in the past mixed with the present, living in internal hell. I was a prisoner to my own thoughts. Darkness had swallowed me whole, and my demonic cravings never eased up off of me.

I thought at first with Jalissa, that she would come with promised change. Instead, she did more damage. She not only proved that she never loved me enough to save or fight for me, but she just came back into my life to use me as a pawn, and I fell for it in hopes of at least having one parent to love and help fix me. Reality started to settle into me years ago, there was no fixing me. I was just existing and going along with the flow of everything, not really knowing just what the fuck I was doing.

I stood in the dark and quiet shadows on my lonely days with the weight of the world pressed against me. I was haunted, and it wasn’t by ghosts, but by my past, the faces, chains, and voices that forced me to believe that I was not a man. Each wound refused to heal, they all bled slow while it silently continued to poison my soul. There was no fire behind my actions, my heart beat out of sheer habit and not because I willed it to. Jalissa didn’t know shit but her own selfish desires, and all of it would be coming to a stop very soon. I just still had some missing pieces to myself that I would like to figure out before I put her out of her own desperate misery for redemption.

I was used to her constant venomous approach to get whatever she wanted out of me. I hated her and thought about killing her plenty of times. My brain played sick and twisted tricks on me when it came to her. Maybe it was her all along, fucking with my mind. I hated her for even thinking that saving me was a favor when it should have been out of duty since she proved that she was my biological mother. When Jalissa took me in, she immediately got to work getting a blood test done to prove that she was my mother. Next, she got in contact with a female friend from the U.S that helped us get back to the states safely and undetected. For months she fed me with lies and broken promises. She was a mastermind when it came to setting certain things up in order for them to go in her favor.

She cried to me over and over about how Impurity was to blame for stripping me away from her at birth. She stated that Impurity’s ex-wife was still in love with him and had offered her millions of dollars to disappear. Jalissa claimed that she had an affair with one of the guards in Arkville and that is why Impurity sold me after an hour of me being born.

The more I sat back and thought about the picture she painted, the more I saw just how selfish and demented she was. Jalissa didn’t want to make up for lost time with me. She never had intentions on being a mother after all of these years. She planned that fire so that I could be at her mercy. After years of suffering with no hold over my life, I refused to be at anyone else’s mercy.

Time would reveal everything there was that I needed to know. There was a reason why she only catered to Octavio and let him live his life without the burdens or worries that I carried on a day-to-day basis. Vengeance would be mine, and I wouldn’t give a fuck about whoever I crushed in the process.

“Fuck you, Jalissa. Go see about Octavio. Whenever I have an update, I’ll call.”

I planted my foot flat on the floor and used all of my strength to stand.

“I’m unfuckwithable, Monster. You’ll soon see what the fuck I mean by that. Time is running out, my boy. You better make me proud, or all of this will backfire in the worse way possible.”

Ten

It’s just a dream,Angel!

Terror slammedinto me as I woke up confused and disoriented. My arms and legs were bound, it felt like I was standing up spread-eagle. Something had me suspended in the air as I leaned forward. My eyes were wide opened, but I couldn’t see my surroundings since something covered them. Metal dug into my wrists and ankles as I yanked against them, which let me know that there was no escaping.

What the fuck! I’ve been kidnapped! This isn’t a fucking dream! I told myself, trying not to panic but it was already too late. Tears dropped from my eyes making the blindfold cloth heavy. It was eerily quiet, so my emotions spoke louder than I wanted them to. Today was supposed to be important to me. I remember going to sleep excited and ready to upload the new interviews that I had carefully edited, which took me two weeks since seeing…him.

“Let the games began.” Detavio’s words echoed in my mind like a mac truck had hit me.

This was him! Who else could it be, especially on a day like this? It had been two weeks since I’ve last saw him. His face was etched in the forefront of my mind throughout the day. Cold air caressed my body, and it suddenly dawned on me that I was naked.

“Help me! Somebody please help me!” I screamed at the top of my lungs, even though I told myself not to panic.

I forced myself to take deep breaths, licking my dry lips to calm myself. I shivered from the coldness as goosebumps spread across me like a wildfire. I couldn’t calm my nerves. I was helpless, there was nothing that I would be able to do but go along with whatever awaited me. I started to hyperventilate as my pulse slowed down.

He might rape me; this is why he stripped me down! This is what he did to all of those women that I interviewed.

I never lost a fight, and I didn’t plan on losing one today. No matter the circumstances, I was ready to fight hard and dirty to reclaim my freedom.

“Help! Help! Help!” I yelled again.

There was no echo when I yelled which led me to believe that I was in a room. What freaked me out the most was the smell of my vanilla bean perfume that I wore every single day. There was linen somewhere in here with vanilla scent raising up off of it.

The sound of the door opening up caused instant tension to build up inside of me. My bottom lip trembled, words of hate was on the tip of my tongue to yell out but I had to remind myself that I was most likely somewhere far from home and safety.

“Yell again pussy, I like that shit.” His deep voice taunted me, he was close.

“Nipples hard, pussy glistening from where I stand. You wanted to play these types of games with me. You are the challenge that I longed for. Sad to say…eventually the games have to stop. The only end game is death for you, Angel. So, tell me, why did you choose to play with me?” he asked.

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