Page 25 of The Filth Kings II

I thought about my mother; my only regret with Monster killing her was me not being able to reveal to her my secret. I planned on my secret being payback to her in the long run. After finding out about her drugging me as a kid. She tried to force me into becoming something that I never wanted to be. It took a long time to accept myself. I wanted a deep masculine voice like my brothers.

I wanted to appear more manly as a teen, my facial features were a little strong. I had to face it and accept the fact that I had breasts and my voice was soft. Instead of getting upset when women called me beautiful, I thanked them and let the compliment make me feel good. Jalissa fucked me up, it took a whole lot of self-discovery to get over it. I just wished that I was able to look her in the eyes and tell her that I lied about having cancer. I lied and was proud about that. My adulthood was better without her sick ass.

“I heard what the fuck he said, but the part that I refuse to accept is him wanting us to be okay with him going alone!” Detavio stood up abruptly.

Monster’s eyes quickly went to Neosyne again; once he realized that the baby still rested and unbothered, he flicked his dark eyes back to Detavio.

“Don’t disrupt my son’s sleep. Talk lower!” His voice boomed and that caused Neosyne to stir in his sleep.

Besides all the rage evident on Monster’s face, his facial features softened when we all witnessed Neosyne smile in his sleep.

“He knows his dad’s voice.” I couldn’t hold back my own smile.

“He does.” Monster sneered.

“Listen, I know what I’m doing with all of this…I can go and come back with all my dead ends clipped off…for good.” Monster tried to reassure us.

I knew nothing about killing, but behind my family, I knew that I would without thinking twice about committing the crime.

“I want a tracker on you…if you don’t check in with us every two hours?—”

“I don’t look shit like, Angel!” Monster cut Detavio off a little too fast.

“You either go with a tracker and check in or I will go no matter what! Natavi can stay with Octavio, I’m not babysitting your wife.” Detavio’s eyes left Monster’s for a few seconds.

His eyes went to his sleek bar with all of his expensive cognacs on display. I could see it in his gaze that he wanted to pop the top and down some more liquor. It’s how he’s been coping with all the lemons that life had been throwing his way lately. In front of us today, he tried to drink in moderation.

Detavio didn’t want to admit it out loud that ever since Angel left, along with all of the negative attention being thrown his way in the blogs, he depended on the liquor as an escape.

“I need another fuckin’ drink…” Detavio spat.

That was the perfect excuse to pick his feet up and head over to his bar.

“Of course you need another drink. Watch that shit, I’d hate to have to start watching it for you.” Monster gritted out.

Detavio ignored Monster’s promise and snatched the bottle off the bar top. He used his free hand to unbutton the top three buttons of his shirt. He went through the motions of cracking his neck from side to side then finally opening up his bottle of cognac.

“Watch this shit.” Detavio smirked sinisterly and took the bottle to his lips.

Purposely, he gulped loudly for seconds too long then set it back down. Detavio leaned against the bar, then he crossed his leg over the other before eying the both of us.

“We don’t hold back shit from one another, right?” Detavio asked slowly.

“We don’t, but going into personal detail of certain things—” Monster paused.

His eyes looked down at the glass table as his shoulders dropped.

“I have bad panic or anxiety attacks; I take medicine to help myself…” Monster’s words trailed off. The pain in his voice was evident.

“I use duct-tape…I never got rid of my breasts, and I have a stalker.” I blurted out.

The room went silent, I exhaled and sat back in my seat. I felt relieved that I revealed what I was holding back. These were my brothers, they had to accept me for me. It was foolish to hold back that bit of information in the first place.

“I knew about Detavio being my brother for years…it took a long time for me to gather up the courage to even reveal myself to you. Impurity raised you, Jalissa talked so bad about you. She always said that you guys had mental issues and convinced me that I did to. She told me stories about her witnessing you cut up bodies with Impurity. She said you used to smile and laugh when you’d hold an organ in your tiny hands. I still remembered you, it hurt me when we got ripped a part…so I didn’t—I didn’t believe half the things she said about you until I got older.” I dropped my head in shame.

“Pick your head up and finish,” Detavio stated in a calm voice.

He grabbed his bottle before walking away from the bar area. Seconds later, he scooted a chair back next to me and sat down in it. I could smell the liquor on his breath, but it was the look of concern and love on his face that comforted me the most. I couldn’t help that I was sensitive, I never wanted to become too emotional in front of them. I already looked feminine enough, I didn’t want to act as such as well.

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