Page 41 of The Love Match

Harun smiles, but it’s sad, and there’s a faraway glaze to his eyes. “I never introduced her to my parents. I—I don’t know why. Maybe I was scared that if they hated each other, everything would have to change. I kept putting it off and shekept pushing me. She always felt like I didn’t put her first, like I was under my parents’ thumb.”

“I’m sorry,” I whisper.

He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “No. Don’t be. She was right. I was a bad boyfriend. I didn’t even know how bad until college acceptances rolled out.”

“My mom’s always been a diabetic,” he continues, “and that spring, she had a bad hypoglycemic episode. Dad’s been busy with the restaurant for basically ever, especially after he got it in his head to open a second one in Paterson. I got home late from a date with Lily and found my mom just in time. It… scared me.”

“Oh, Harun…” I finally reach for his hand.

“I realized then that I didn’t want to go so far that I couldn’t drive back if they needed me,” he confesses, meeting my gaze like he’s desperately willing me to understand. “Shaad, Sammi, and Hanif all have siblings, but my parents only have me. When I tried to explain that to Lily, explain why I was choosing Columbia, even though I promised we could fly out to visit each other, she said she was tired of me being such a codependent loser and dumped me.”

Righteous anger flares in my chest. “What the hell? She could have broken up with you without being so—so—so rude.” Choicer words dance on the tip of my tongue, but I bite it and glance up to find Harun grinning at me. “What?”

He shakes his head. “Yeah, she was pretty harsh, but I guess I deserved it. If Stanford was some sort of test tochoose her over my parents, I flunked it, big-time.”

“At… least you did well on the SAT?” I reply, in an effort to make him laugh.

Harun snorts. “Truth be told, it was the best thing for us both. Ihadgrown codependent, but with her. I thought I should be grateful she even chose me, but I never stopped to consider why that was. When she dumped me, all I did was brood around the house like some kind of ghost.” His eyes dart to mine, crinkling at the corners. “And then there was you.”

“Me?” I squeak.

I wonder if he realizes how rom-com he sounds right now. Probably not, but that doesn’t stop my heartbeat from pulsing in my veins.

“Yeah, you, Khan.” He half dimples. “My folks probably figured they’d get me out of my funk by setting us up, but I didn’t realize until we met how badly I needed a friend who didn’t know Lily.” He sighs and then smiles apologetically. “Thanks for listening.”

“No need to thank me,” I whisper, suddenly feeling shy and looking down at my bowl.

Perhaps Harun also senses the shift in the air between us, because he coughs into his fist. “Anyway. That’s over. So you don’t have to worry about Lily coming after you or anything.”

The truth of his words sinks in, anchored to guilt.

Swallowing a mouthful of soup, I say, “I’m not dating anyone either, but… there’s this boy. Amma doesn’t know. She wouldn’t approve.”

Harun’s brows knit together, his expression unreadable. I can’t bear to look at him too closely, in case I find familiar judgment in his gaze. He isn’t the only one with far too few friends, and now that I have him, the prospect of losing him sooner because he thinks poorly of me makes me want to puke.

Technically, I’ve neverdatedlike him, but though Islam has the same rules in place about romance regardless of gender, people have double standards for what brown boys and girls do. Perhaps he hid it from his parents too, but even if he didn’t, him dating isboys being boys, he’ll settle down eventually. If I do it without the parental stamp of approval, a long list of rules, and chaperones, will it ruin my reputation? Willhethink less of me for it, like Amma and the aunties and uncles of our city?

Gossip is a sin, too, but somehow, retribution always blows back on girls.

Only girls.

Harun’s basket of french fries slides into my line of sight, prompting me to blink at him. His smile is kind. “If it makes you happy, you should go for it, Zar.”

“Zar, huh?” The sound of the nickname my best friends use, and his immediate acceptance of my feelings for Nayim, sends delight bubbling through me, but I paste a teasing expression onto my face. “Does that mean I can call you ‘Haru-moni’?”

“Shut up,” he laughs.

Although I don’t know if he’s right about Nayim, his conviction comforts me.

I accept a fry. Afriendshipfry.

Chapter15

That Saturday morning, I learnChai Ho will be closing early because the Tahir family has another engagement—quite literally. It’s an engagement party.

Mr. Tahir scowls when I ask why Nayim and I can’t mind the shop again, and I fear he somehow discovered that we locked up before we should have last time.

Fortunately, he says, “Believe you me, I’d rather keep it open. Time is money! But Nayim said he has some errands to run tonight. If you’d like, perhaps you can open up tomorrow for a little extra pay?”

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