Page 66 of The Love Match

“You’ve done it before?” I parrot. “I don’t understand….”

I gape at him. How does this fit into the pieces of the Nayim puzzle I’ve collected so far? Now that I think about it, there are so few, because we’ve known each other for such a short time. Because he shares so little.

If he wants me to run away, perhaps he doesn’t know me very well either. Losing my father changed my world for the worse. Robbed my sky of the sun, reaped the life from my earth. Nayim should know that. Nayim should know how much the people I have left mean to me. How scared I’ve been of them slipping through my fingers too.

How can he ask me to go?

“Zahra…” He licks his lips and considers his words very carefully. “The truth is… my family is still alive in Bangladesh.”

Shock jolts me out of his grasp.

“Wh-what…?” I stammer. My feet back away of their own volition, and I can’t stop shaking my head in disbelief. “What do you mean, they’re alive? How could you even joke about something like that, knowing what happened to me? Knowing…”

And yet, I desperately want it to be a joke, because if it isn’t, it means he lied to me. That he’sbeenlying to me since the moment we met.

“I didn’t lie,” he says, like he’s reading my mind, smiling at me as if I’m some stray to mollify with crusts of kindness. “All those rumors about me started the second I arrived in Paterson, so I just… let everyone believe what they already wanted. It was harmless.”

“But you letmebelieve it too,” I snap, angry tears flowing freely now. When he tries to reach for me again, I slap his hand away. “I get that you didn’t owe me anything at first, but after you found out about my dad… how could you not tell me?”

Nayim watches me for a long time, before he whispers, “I liked you not knowing who I was before. I spent my whole life trying to live up to what my father wanted me to be. Playing a role for everyone around me. But you, Zahra… You’re the first person to like me as I am. Like me for me. I wanted to hold on to that for a little bit longer.”

“Except thisisn’tyou,” I snarl, willing myself not to care about the hurt that makes him flinch. “You’re still playing a role, Nayim, but what’s a game to you is mylife. I’m not just playing at the poor orphaned immigrant like you.”

His lips tremble, then squeeze together. “I’m sorry I hurt you,” he says, amber eyes piercing and voice suddenly forceful. “But what if that didn’t have to be your life? No matter what you might believe, my feelings for you have always been true. We can run away. We can go to a place that has stars, see thewhole world. Be each other’s family.”

Fresh tears well in my eyes as I shake my head. “No. You say your feelings for me are real, but if you actually loved me, you’d know Ihaveto be here for my mother, grandmother, and siblings. I can’t leave them. I’m sorry.”

As I make to climb out of the observation tower, he calls after me, “I thought you were adventurous. I thought you were brave. A dreamer. The Zahra I was falling for would never be a puppet for her family.”

His words are a slap to the face.

I spin around. “My family is all I have left in the world.”

“Some families only hold you back and keep you small,” Nayim says, fury rising in his voice. “If they cared about you half as much as you do about them, they’d want you to come with me. Don’t you see that your amma is making you miserable?”

A flare of indignation sparks in my chest. My mother may be far from perfect, but how dare he judge her after twomeetings without knowing all she’s been through? All she’s sacrificed?

“I don’twantto go!”

At this, Nayim goes quiet for a moment before his jaw tightens. He picks up his guitar and straightens. “So what will you do now? Stay here and be with Harun like an obedient little girl, just because it’s what she wants?”

The sparks billow into an outright flame.

How can he stand here talking about Harun when I ruined our friendship to keep him? To make him happy?

“Well, at least Harun isn’t a selfish ass,” I spit, fists balled at my sides. “Unlike you, Harun cares about the people he loves. Harun is reliable.”

Nayim considers me, heartbreak written all over his face. “You’re not who I thought you were. I thought you loved me.”

I stare at him in total disbelief. Love? How could he presume to know what love is truly about after this? It’s not just a feeling. It’s about trust. And showing up, about commitment, about putting the needs of those precious to you before your own.

Like I did for him.

I set aside my dreams all over again, gave up Harun, for a chance for Nayim and me to be happy together, here, only for him to ask this of me. Ask me to choose between him and my family… that’s not love. I’m starting to wonder if we knew each other at all.

“It’s not enough,” I whisper heatedly. I barely know myselfanymore, much less the boy who stands before me. “Goodbye, Nayim. It’s—it’s over.”

He doesn’t chase after me. I’m not sure if I wanted him to, but I wait until the tower is a speck in the distance to drop to my knees under a silver bell tree and cry.

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