Page 48 of South of Nowhere

She asked, “The safe house in San Francisco? The one he kept from us? That’s where they met, I guess.”

“Probably. I searched it when Russell and I were looking for evidence about Ashton’s death. But I didn’t notice anything about a Margaret or any woman Ashton might’ve known.”

Dorion stared out over the town. Colter’s eyes followed. In the mist the scene looked snowy, quaint, like a Christmas village. Dorion gave no outward reaction to the news. She had had a fine relationship with her father until his final years, when he grew paranoid and hostile. Mary Dove, a licensed MD, kept him on antipsychotic medication, but sometimes, Colter learned later, he palmed the pills and flushed them, presumably believing that they were part of an elaborate plot to poison him or control his mind.

When Dorion was thirteen she and Ashton had a falling-out. Hisboot-camp survival training included a final exam: rappelling down a hundred-foot cliff at night. The girl was an expert mountaineer—a better climber than Colter and Russell had been at that age—and she’d taken on rock faces scores of times, some even higher than the one he’d picked. But that night she’d said simply, “No.” She saw no point, and had a mind of her own even at that age.

Ashton had grown furious and, when Russell intervened, his father pulled a knife on him.

The overwhelming tension finally broke, and Ashton vanished into his room, leaving the children badly shaken.

Some years later, when the subject of that evening came up, Dorion had told Colter she felt that was the moment their father died. “I know it’s his mind, I know it’s the wiring. I didn’t hate him or resent him. It’s just that man was not my father anymore. Somebody else took his place.”

Now, Colter handed his sister his phone. “Here’s what I just got from Tony.”

Colter:

Found a letter to your father. Has to be from the woman your father had the affair with, Margaret’s mother.

Ashton, I am owing you my soul. I am owing you everything. But it is not safe. It is never safe. THEY are out there. You know who they are. And they are after me. I see a shadow and I cringe. I hear a loud bang and I am jumping out of my skin. I hear a phone ring and I am wondering, will it explode, they can plant bombs in phones you know.

I know what you’ve told me about survival, and I try to survive but sometimes it just seems so difficult. Overwhelming.

They’re out there. Hiding, waiting.

I wish I could stay calm. And tell myself it’s my imagination, but the voices are screaming at me.

You told me I had to ignore them.

But I can’t.

And so I did what you told me not to do.

I went to Eddy Street.

You know what I mean.

Yes.

I didn’t have any choice.

Forgive me.

But they’re after me, all of them are after me.

No choice, no choice…

Yours in devotion and love,

Sarah

Tony’s message finished by saying he was going to keep searching. He still had about five inches of documents to go through. He would let them know what he found.

Dorion said, “She sounds like Ashton when he was off his meds. All right. Margaret, the daughter of Ashton and Sarah, has surfaced and is now looking for the Compound. Any thoughts on why?”

“Sarah’s mental issues get worse, and she kills herself. Either because she’s completely unhinged. Or—”

“Because she begs Ashton to leave Mary Dove and marry her.”

---