Page 10 of Changing Tides

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By Thursday,I haven’t seen Liam at all, and since I am babysitting for him tomorrow night, it’s time to touch base with him. I don’t have his number, so I decide after some dinner to saunter over to his place and knock on his door.Relax.I tell myself.This is a favor you’re doing for him. For Ellie really, nothing more. Who cares if he’s tall and muscular and probably wearing one of those too-tight T-shirts that shows all his muscles in a completely agonizing way.

It has been a long time since I’ve been curious about a man other than James. I think that’s why I am so nervous. For all I know, he asked me to babysit because he wants to go out on a date, which is none of my business. I glance down at my phone to check the time, 7:45 p.m. Another text from James catches my eye at the same time but I ignore the unread message and stick my phone back in my pocket.

Okay, here goes nothing.I walk up Liam’s front steps and immediately notice the video doorbell. Nothing like being on camera to make me feel self-conscious in my monotone loungewear. I press it anyway.

The front door swings open, and Liam appears momentarily surprised to see me. He recovers quickly, offering me a smile that immediately puts me at ease, though I can’t pretend I don’t notice him looking delicious in low-slung gray joggers and a fitted black T-shirt.I knew he’d be wearing one.I force myself to look only at his face. Meanwhile, I am fully aware he is taking in my entire ensemble while I stand there hoping my underwear doesn't show through my beige pants under his porch light. For what feels like an eternity, even though it’s only a few seconds, we’re both standing there sizing each other up.I didn’t think this through.

“Sophie, hi.” Liam rubs his palm down the length of his face.Is he flustered?“I wasn’t expecting you…anyone,” he corrects himself quickly.

“I just realized I never touched base with you about tomorrow night, and I don’t have your number so…” I force myself to swallow any minor embarrassment I’m feeling. We’re both adults. Presumably, he has seen pajamas before.This is not a big deal.Yet, seeing Liam up close again, looking this effortlessly good in the glow of the golden hour of all times, is really doing something to me that should be unwelcome, but strangely isn’t.

“It’s cool. Now we’re both guilty of sneaking up on the other’s porch.” Liam grins at me again and runs his hands through his messy hair. He is gorgeous when he smiles like that. He is so fit that I wonder when he has time to go to the gym. His dark hair is cropped on the sides and longer on top, and he has just a shadow of a beard. His clear blue eyes have a weight behind them, like he’s carrying something on his shoulders too.

“So…” I look at him expectantly.

He leans against the doorframe and licks his lips. My stomach flutters, which once again catches me off guard. I need to stop imagining the feel of those lips, especially considering the fact that I haven’t dealt withanyof my own shit.Think about literallyanythingelse,Sophie.

“Right. Sorry, Sophie.” My name rolls off his tongue as if he’s speaking a romantic language. “Why don’t you come in for a minute, and I can show you some things for Lucy?” He steps back and gestures for me to enter. I want nothing more than to shrink into myself.

First of all,I internally reprimand myself,you left your house with nothing presentable to wear, like twelve pairs of underwear, and some chargers.I feel like I need to go shopping before I can realistically babysit for the guy. If I show up like this, he is going to…Why do you care?I scold myself again.Because some male attention wouldn’t be the worst thing for my fractured ego.I can admit that at least.

“Okay, sure,” I say, following him inside and glancing around. Liam’s house looks like a once loved and cared for home that has been taken over by a bachelor. To the right is a formal sitting room, but boxes of things take up most of the space. To the left is an oak staircase with various collage photo frames from the ‘90s hung up in the stairwell. Shoes are stacked on each step, presumably waiting to be carried upstairs. A jacket is draped over the handrail. I follow him down the short hallway, passing a powder room before we enter the kitchen. A table and highchair sit amid various clutter—dishes in the sink, mail on the countertops, leftover dinner, and a bottle of milk resting on the highchair tray.

“I, uh, didn’t get a chance to clean up dinner yet. Lucy was a handful tonight.” His lips twitch into a sheepish smirk. Just then a lazy golden retriever comes up and sticks its nose right in my crotch. I laugh and skirt away. Liam winces. “Oh…are you okay with dogs? I’m sorry. This is Maggie. She’s pretty calm and will probably leave you alone once she sniffs you. She may or may not jump on your lap as soon as you sit down.” He pats the dog on the head affectionately, and my heart swells a little. Maybe Liam is a little softer than I thought.

I nod. “I’m fine with dogs. Hi Maggie.” I ruffle her ears.

Liam’s entire upper body relaxes with relief. “Good.” He clears his throat. “So, you can see, this is the kitchen, and the family room down here is usually where I hang out with Lucy. This is where most of her toys are.” He walks one step down to a living room off the kitchen where there is a couch, recliner, a pack-and-play with some toys in it, and a bouncer that Lucy is probably too big for now. I follow him, looking around at the pieces of his life.

The TV on the mantle has the evening’s baseball highlights on. We both turn our attention to it as the newscaster is showing a replay from today’s Phillies game. On the screen, Trea Turner scores the game-winning run for a final score of 5-3. “Yes!” Liam whispers as he watches.

I am surprised to find myself smiling. “Do you like baseball?” I ask him, even though it’s obvious he does. Small talk is not my strong suit.

“I do. I played my whole life until I graduated high school. I love the Phils,” he says with a wistful smile. The conversation hangs in the air for a minute, and I wait for his lead. “Anyway, I’m just planning on going to dinner. It shouldn’t be real long. If you don’t mind feeding Lucy and putting her to bed, you can come over at about 5:45?”

His relaxed demeanor is putting me at ease. I find myself wanting to spend more time with him but also knowing what a terrible idea that is. I’m nowhere near ready to start something new.

I nod. “Sure, I can do that.” My phone buzzes in my hand.James.A picture of us from our wedding day flashes on my screen as it rings. I catch Liam noticing it.

“Do you need to get that?” he asks, taking a step back toward the kitchen. Maybe he wants to give me privacy.

I hit decline. “Definitely not,” I mutter quietly. I take a deep breath. Liam looks so good, and my emotions are all over the place. I am lonely and attracted to him. I have to get out of his house. It’s too tempting.

The need for male attention to heal my bruised ego is clouding my judgment. I am a therapist. If I were a patient, I would tell myself to run and not look back—at least not until I’ve had the chance to digest these major life changes of the past few weeks.

I have to figure out my life. I will. I will figure out my life.

Tomorrow.

Liam moves back into the kitchen and walks over to his fridge. “Can I get you something to drink?”

He’s being so nice.I sigh. “That sounds good, but I really ought to be going.” I follow him back into the kitchen with intentions of heading toward the front door.

“Are you a wine girl?” He cocks his head at me, a smirk playing on his full lips. “I think I have some red wine in the cabinet. You know, if you don’t want to be alone.” He almost convinces me.

Not only is he hot, he’s thoughtful, too.I saw evidence of that when he door-dropped me food the other night but now, he’s further proving it. He’s enticing me.Be strong, Sophie. A rebound is not what you need right now. Run. Away.“I can’t. But I will see you tomorrow at 5:45.”

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