Page 14 of Changing Tides

“I came here all the time as a child. My grandparents were locals, and my parents brought us down on the weekends every summer until I was sixteen and my mom died…” I trail off. “I have wonderful memories here and it just felt like the right place to come to clear my mind for a fresh start.”

Dr. Stevens nods and jots down something else I can’t read. “Have you thought about journaling? Writing down your big emotions as they come can help you process them.”

I bite my lip and stifle a self-deprecating laugh. “I am really bad at journaling,” I admit with a weak smile.

Dr. Stevens chuckles, putting me at ease. “It was just a suggestion. I’d like you to try to set yourself a routine. You’re in a new physical place and you’re in a new emotional place, too. It may help you to feel as though you’re in control of something. But a new place can also be a fresh start—a chance to build something new and meaningful for yourself.”

“I agree,” I say emphatically. “A routine for the next couple of weeks feels manageable.”

Dr. Stevens startles when the sound of the front door jingles, indicating someone else arriving. He looks at his watch and then back at me. “Sophie, this is great, great stuff. You have kept all of this bottled up inside you for a few weeks too long. I’m so glad you talked to me.”

“It was pretty cathartic,” I admit, attempting a small smile. I stand up and collect my things, sensing my time for today is up.

“I think you should come back next week, for a real appointment. In the meantime, I’d like you to make time for activities you enjoy or that help you feel calm, like exercise, reading, or spending time in nature. You’re at the beach! Go get yourself a nice coffee from Coffee Tyme, put your feet in the sand, and decompress. The salt air cures everything.” He touches my shoulder as he guides me out of his office. Gesturing to the receptionist who is getting settled behind the desk, he says, “If you talk to Angie here, she’ll get you set up for next week.”

“I will come back, thank you. I needed this.” I blow my nose into the crumbled tissue I’m still holding.

After making my appointment, I decide to do exactly what he suggested. I walk up to Beach Road, get myself a piping hot vanilla latte, and plop my butt in the sand. There really isn’t much that the beach can’t cure.

6

LIAM

Iam pacing around my living room after running all over the house, trying to tidy it up.Why am I nervous?I glance in the front room at all the boxes of Leah’s belongings that I have yet to go through. I am going to have to do that eventually, but I can’t bring myself to do it yet. I think it will trigger the mourning process all over again. I am scared to go back to that level of pain. I need to focus on now, on tonight. Lucy has been a little fussy all day. I hope Sophie isn’t overwhelmed. I will give her the heads up and leave the Tylenol for her. She seems like she doesn’t have a frustrated bone in her body, and Lucy really seems to like her.

My palms are sweating.What the fuck, Harper, calm down.I check my phone, 5:38. Sophie and Melanie will be here any minute. I am wearing faded J. Crew jeans and a black thermal. I still managed to get Lucy in her highchair and feed her some dinner. She’s sitting there now watching a show on the TV and giggling every few minutes.This is fine, everything is fine.

I have reassured myself that this evening is a good idea at least fifteen times today. I’m worried about Lucy and agitated from not getting enough sleep. I’m nervous about setting things straight with Melanie and for some reason, I can’t get Sophie out of my head. All of these sound like great reasons to bail but it’s too late now because the doorbell buzzes right as I see Melanie’s black car pull up in front of my house.

I pick up Lucy and open the front door to greet Sophie. I immediately realize she isn’t the reason I am nervous. Just the sight of her smile and relaxed demeanor eases my nerves. Then Sophie grins and reaches for Lucy who wriggles out of my arms to get to her.

Sophie giggles. “Hi, Luce.” She plants a kiss on the top of the baby’s head. “I’m happy to see you too!” Lucy nuzzles into Sophie’s shoulder as if it’s the most natural thing in the world for her. A sharp, unexpected twinge of longing twists in my chest, taking me by surprise.

Sophie seems to be feeling a lot better than she was last night, wearing a tight pair of black leggings and a fitted pink long-sleeve pullover. Her chestnut hair is down and falling wildly around her shoulders. She’s completely at ease with Lucy and I find it undeniably attractive.

“Hi,” I rasp, biting back a smile. There is a nagging feeling in my gut. I want to knowSophie. It’s a feeling that is so foreign to me that I can’t dismiss it.

“Hi,” she chirps back. She grins and shifts Lucy to her other hip.

We don’t get to say anything else before Melanie walks through the still-open front door. “Hey,” She smiles tightly at me. “You ready?” She doesn’t look in Sophie’s direction at all.

I clear my throat. “Almost.” I decide a formal introduction is the best course of action here since they don’t know each other. Before I can say anything, a look of irritation crosses Melanie’s face. I gesture to Sophie, holding Lucy. “Melanie this is Sophie. Sophie, this is Melanie.”

A look of recognition passes over Sophie’s face and her brows furrow for just a second before she says, “Hi, Melanie. It’s nice to meet you.” She offers her a warm smile.

In return, Melanie is the epitome of unfriendly. “Hello,” she says curtly.

I stifle a cough. “Sophie is renting from Ellie for a bit, and she’s been helping out with Lucy.” I feel the need to explain even though I don’t have to.

“Ah,” Melanie says, as if it’s clicking for her now.

Now here they stand, sizing each other up in a way that shouldn’t matter but for some reason does. Melanie is wearing tight skinny jeans and a black bodysuit that accentuates her curves. She has big silver hoop earrings, and her sleeve tattoo of Hawaiian flowers is on display. She’s taller than Sophie by about three and a half inches because of the black knee-high boots she is wearing.

Seeming uncomfortable, Sophie shifts Lucy from one hip to the other and looks back and forth between us. I find myself wondering what she is thinking about me and Melanie. An awkward silence has fallen upon the three of us and I know I need to break it, but Sophie beats me to it.

“Oh, yeah. I think I saw you leaving here after my morning run the other day.”

I realize the second the words are out of her mouth and her cheeks turn a faint shade of pink that she thinks she shouldn’t have said it. It seems she’s a nervous rambler, but at least she tries to be kind. It also occurs to me that Sophie probably thinks Melanie slept over, and I want desperately to clarify but of course, I can’t. Not now anyway. I can’t help thinking though,why is it so important for me to make sure that Sophie knows I’m not with Melanie?The feeling nags at me, awakening a foreign longing I don’t fully understand.

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