Page 15 of Changing Tides

“Mm-hmm,” Melanie nods, clearly uninterested. Then turning to me, “Ready? It’s 5:50.”

I nod. “Sophie, you have my number. Lucy is fed. If you want to give her a bath you can. I treat baths like an activity to occupy her,” I laugh. “Anyway…she was a little fussy today. I think she’s getting another tooth. There’s Tylenol in the upstairs bathroom if you think she might need it.”

Sophie smiles. “We’ll be fine. Won’t we, Lucy girl?” She brushes some hair from Lucy’s forehead and grins back at me. Then she steps toward the door as if to usher us out. “Go, go. You kids have fun.” She pats my back as we walk out. “Bye, Melanie. It was nice to officially meet you!”

Melanie ignores her, and as we climb in my pickup, I can’t help but wish I was staying home…with Sophie.

* * *

We arrive at Taco Cocina,and the bar area is crowded. I recognize some familiar faces from around town but thankfully no one in our inner circle is there. The hostess says it’ll be a few minutes despite our six o’clock reservation, so we head to the bar. I order us both a margarita on the rocks and close the tab. There’s only one open seat so I pull it out for Melanie and stand behind her.

There is a familiarity between us that feels safe and reassuring. I can’t get hurt with Melanie. I know she’s more invested in us than I am, and there’s a sense of safety in that. She wants me despite how well she knows me, despite how much I have been through, how emotionally unavailable I am. Shestillwants me. And I am probably holding her back from meeting someone who will be emotionally available for her. She is forty, I am forty. We’re not kids anymore, and I have to set her free. We’re just making small talk as we wait for the text message that our table is ready.

“I’m surprised you let someone you’ve known all of five days watch Lucy. But I’m not even allowed around her.” Melanie goes right in for the kill.

Oh, here we go again.I roll my eyes. “Melanie, we have been over this. I am a new dad. And not the kind that has nine months to prepare. I am trying to protect Lucy at all costs. I’m not going to let her get close to someone I care about and then lose them if it doesn’t work out.” I’m surprised at how tightly my jaw is clenched as I have this conversation for the zillionth time.

She spins in the bar chair and tickles my chest up and down. “Well, who says it won’t work out, babe? We’ve been doing this thing between us on and off for years.”

“Yeah but, it’s been off for quite a while now,” I mutter, glancing anywhere around the bar except at Melanie.

“Sophie just looks like a train wreck, that’s all,” Melanie says snootily, taking a long sip of her margarita. “How can she take care of Lucy when she looks like she barely takes care of herself?”

I can see that Melanie is just jealous, and it doesn’t look good on her.

“What? What’s that supposed to mean? She’snice,” I counter, feeling a little defensive of my new friend. I give an exasperated sigh just as my phone buzzes. “Our table is ready,” I tell her and turn toward the host stand, leaving her to follow.

* * *

For some reason,getting through this dinner feels like an eternity. Not only am I feeling all sorts of pressure from Melanie, spoken and unspoken, but I just have a sinking feeling about the whole evening. Melanie is coming off as jealous and bratty. She wants a future with me because of everything we’ve been through together. I’m still trying to work up the courage to tell her that this isn’t what I want.

“So, what do you say todessert?” Melanie looks hopeful, her voice flirtatious. “Like you said, I’m sure Sophie is very capable with Lucy. We could go back to my place,” she purrs, stroking my hand.

I need to get out of here.

“Honestly, I told Sophie I would only be gone for a couple of hours. I don’t want to take advantage of her kindness.” I pull my hand away from Melanie’s, hoping that sends a message.

“How about your house then? I’m sure she’ll be asleep when we get back.” Melanie picks up her drink and takes a long sip.

I’m not sure if it’s because she’s had years of me pulling away from her, then getting close again, then pulling away again, but all she does is push. And when she pushes, I pull away. It’s this vicious little circle we’ve got going. My stomach drops. Melanie isn’t the person I want to be with. Ellie is right. I need to let Melanie go.

I feel myself growing irritated. “What exactly are you trying to make happen here?” I ask, even though I know the answer.

Melanie isn’t deterred. “Come on, Liam. You know how good we are together,” She murmurs. “Don’t you remember?”

“I do remember,” I growl impatiently. I suck in a breath to steady my voice. “But that was the past. I’m really sorry, Mel, but I think I’ve been clear with you that we’re not going back there.”

For a moment Melanie looks taken aback but then she smirks. “That’s what you say until you want someone to warm your bed at night.”

I narrow my eyes at her. “Melanie, that hasn’t happened in a long time. And never for more than a month at a time. You have to admit, it was mostly because we both missed Cara.” I wince as I say it. In high school, Melanie was my girlfriend Cara’s best friend. Cara was my high school sweetheart until she died in a fatal car accident that I’m not convinced wasn’t my fault.

“That might be how it started, Liam, but I always thought there was more to it.”

Melanie’s voice wavers and I must actively swallow the acquiescence building in my throat out of guilt.

“I’m sorry, Mel.” I soften my voice. “But I have been honest with you from the start about the level of commitment I am capable of. You can’t fault me for that. I didn’t ask you to keep hanging on or to hold out hope that you could fix me.” I keep my voice calm so I can stand my ground.

“Then why did you ask me here tonight?” Melanie scoffs, pushing her plate away and folding her arms.

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