Page 27 of Changing Tides

He smiles and puts his arm around my shoulders, pulling me close. “You can stay as long as you want, Soph. There is no rush.”

* * *

After dinnerI am sitting in Dad and Carol’s guest room. Carol brought me a cup of tea, and I am snuggled up in bed with the duvet pulled up to my chin. I’ve done the hard part, which is talking to James and telling my family my plans. Next in order is to text Ellie and see if I can stay longer.

I know her busy season is coming up, so I want to be courteous. Without income, I’ll have to be strategic and cautious with money, too. Then there’s the whole needing to resign and not knowing what’s next thing. Strangely enough, instead of feeling apprehensive about all of this, I feel exhilarated. For the first time in a long time, I feel free.

I look at my phone. There’s a message from Claire wanting to know how I made out telling my family. I shoot her a quick text back letting her know all went well and that I’ll call her tomorrow. There’s a text from Liam asking if we can talk. I’m sure he wants to fill me in on Lucy, but I am so emotionally exhausted, and last time we spoke he was not very nice. Pass.

I scroll down to Ellie’s contact and shoot her a text.

Me: Hi, Ellie. How was your book club retreat?

Ellie: Hi, doll! It was great. How are you?

Me: Well, this is kind of awkward for me to ask you, but do you think it would be okay if I stay at your place a little longer? I want to come back to Cape May and get as far away from here as possible. But I know your busy season is around the corner…

Ellie: Sophie! Of COURSE you can stay with me. On one condition.

Me: What’s that?

Ellie: Stay in the main house with me.

Me: Right. So you can rent the cottage out weekly. That makes the most sense.

Ellie: No, silly. Because I love your company.

Me: Ellie, you’re the sweetest. But you must charge me the full rate!

Ellie: We’ll discuss. When are you coming back?

I’m smilingas I tell Ellie I will be back tomorrow morning and tuck my phone away before pulling out my laptop. I have a feeling that Ashley knows what is coming, and I will certainly give her the heads up, but I have to get the resignation letter off my chest. I open an email to my immediate supervisor and start typing. I thank her for the opportunity to work there and help the patients of Scranton Center for Guidance but due to a change in my personal circumstances, I will be relocating.

After it’s written, I feel myself physically relax. That was the last step I needed to take to start my next chapter. I pick up my phone and text Ashley to fill her in and thank her for being the best assistant. I close my laptop and turn off my phone for the night. Right now, in my dad’s house, in his guest bedroom, is right where I need to be.

I roll over and turn off the bedside lamp. Tomorrow I will embark on a new journey, a new path to finding my one true self. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I just hope I make it through.

* * *

I’m lost in thought,driving back toward Cape May the next morning when Claire calls me. I told her I would call her, but then I shut my phone off and never did.

“Who will I have wine nights with now?” she bellows when I answer, not bothering with a hello.

I laugh. “We can still have wine nights, just on FaceTime instead.”

Claire turns serious. “Are you sure a move four hours away is what you want? You are welcome to stay with me and Derek. We’d love to have you.” I can’t tell if she is really trying to convince me or if she’s saying what she thinks she should say.

“I’m sure. I think I need a clean slate. Being around too much familiarity is just too painful.” I bite my lip to stop myself from crying on the highway.

Claire is silent for several seconds before she says, “Okay. Then I am happy for you, Sophie. I think you will find whatever it is you’re looking for.”

I exhale a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. Having my best friend’s support means more to me than most people’s. I need her to realize why I am doing what I’m doing in case it’s a horrible, life-altering mistake. “I hope you’re right.”

16

LIAM

Monday morning, I wake up early, haunted by another dream about Cara and the accident. My dreams have been progressively worsening and I have tried to avoid the inevitable, but I can’t anymore. Before Lucy wakes up, I pour myself a cup of coffee and sit out on my back deck while Maggie does her business.

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