Page 33 of Changing Tides

“I’ll try,” I promise, letting out a breath. I stand up and start moving toward the door when the front door jingles, signaling that someone else has entered the office.

“Good. And Liam, same time next week.” He points and winks at me.

I groan as I walk out of his office. He yells after me, “Send my next patient in, will you? I don’t think Angie’s here yet.”

I am shocked when I enter the waiting room and see none other than Sophie sitting and flipping through a copy ofFood & Winemagazine. She hasn’t spotted me yet, so I pause at the end of the hallway and allow myself to take her in. Her wild hair is tamed in a loose bun on the top of her head. Black sunglasses rest on the crown of her head. She’s wearing a loose-fitting pair of jeans and sandals. I can smell her perfume from where I am standing and it’s intoxicating. She looks beautiful as she flips the pages, biting her lip while she pauses to read something. A tingle rises in my chest at the sight of her. This woman is a mystery—a beautiful broken mystery—and I am determined to make her trust me.

I clear my throat. “Hi…uh, fancy meeting you here.” I walk toward her.

“Liam… hi.” She stands up and all but throws the magazine on the coffee table I built. “What are you doing here?” She clearly didn’t expect to find me here.

I try to make light of the situation. “Oh, you know, a good old-fashioned therapy session to start my Tuesday.” I force a laugh.

She awkwardly mimics my laugh and shifts her weight side to side. Neither of us know what to say next so I decide to put her out of her misery. “Doc is ready for you. He told me to tell you to go on back.”

“Oh.” She turns to pick up her purse. “Okay. It was nice seeing you.” She sidesteps me so as not to get too close.

I can’t help myself; I reach for her forearm and immediately electricity sizzles through me at the contact. “Sophie.” She doesn’t move out of my grasp, only meets my gaze. “I’ll see you later.”

She smiles politely. “Yeah.” I hold her arm for a second too long and when she draws it back, I immediately miss it. “Bye, Liam.” She walks quickly toward Doc’s office door, and I am left feeling like I lost something, but I don’t know what.

19

SOPHIE

I’m surprised to see Liam coming out of Dr. Stevens’s office. Surprised, and intrigued. This guy keeps getting more intriguing. Every time I see him draws me in before I even have time to prepare for the effect he has on me. He makes me feel out of control of my body. My physical reaction to him is reflexive and I forget how to behave like a functioning adult. I am bewitched.

And I want to know why he is here; I want to know all about him. The rational part of my brain knows it’s not a good idea. He has shown me his gruff side twice now, but both times he has redeemed himself. He completely surprised me the night after we met when he brought me food. I didn’t even think he noticed me that day. That was my first glimpse at the softness he tries desperately to hide.

He does something to me that I didn’t expect to feel for a man again so soon. The physical attraction is there, but it’s more than that. Liam looks at me in a way that makes my skin prick, leaving me feeling exposed but unafraid. It’s almost as if he can see my trauma and he seems to accept that it’s a part of me, at least right now. And yet, he irks me, because I find him brash one minute and endearing the next. I want to know him. I want to find out what makes him tick.

* * *

My appointmentwith Dr. Stevens went well, but I didn’t realize how exhausting it is to be the one doing most of the talking. I walk back to Ellie’s, say a quick hello to her and Lucy, and then excuse myself to take a shower and lie down for a bit. My mind is a swirl of things I need to decide and plans I need to make, but it’s overwhelming and I feel paralyzed.

I turn on the shower in my bathroom and while I wait for it to get hot, stare at myself in the mirror. I look tired, probably because I am. The past few months have been really hard. I had my last miscarriage in January, then I discovered James’ affair, and now my entire life is uprooted. Truth be told, my body has been under stress for years trying to get pregnant.

I step into the shower, let the hot water run over my head, and the tension begins to melt. It’s no wonder everything is catching up with me finally. I’m proud of myself for seeing Dr. Stevens. I truly believe I’ll find my footing again with his help.

After I filled him in on the events of the past week, we talked about what’s next. I told him how Liam offered me a job watching Lucy for him and that I’d be doing that for the time being. I explained to him that being with Lucy is healing for me because I worry I will never get to be a mother myself.

Dr. Stevens told me I should break my goals into short-term and long-term categories. If I’m planning to stay here for the foreseeable future, I should consider if I want to look for a job in the therapy field, take up a new hobby so I can start to build a social circle, and write down things that bring me joy. I can do all those, I think. As far as work goes, I can’t imagine being anythingbuta therapist, but I know I need to give myself time to heal, too.

My mind wanders to what Dr. Stevens said about building a social circle here in Cape May. The only people I’ve met so far are him, Ellie, Liam, and Lucy. I don’t even know how to go about making friends in this small town, but I do know that getting through hard times is easier to do with a support system.

I turn off the shower and towel off, letting my mind wander back to Liam. Maybe we could be friends. He doesn’t let them show often but he has let me see some of his vulnerabilities. I bet he has a story to tell.

I wander out to my room and dig around for something to wear, choosing a pair of leggings and a loose T-shirt. I twist my wet hair into a knot on the top of my head. Dr. Stevens suggested I try to find some things to do unrelated to a career that would make me feel good. It could be anything I wanted but should be something that I feel happy doing and occupies my mind so I am not focused on the hard parts of my life.

I try to think of things I enjoyed doing before my life took a drastic turn—the gym and working out, or any physical activity really. I have been trying to walk everywhere I can in Cape May because I know the movement is good for me, but I probably need more than that. I open my laptop and then Google, but instead of searching for local activities, I find myself wanting to Google Liam instead. I can’t get him out of my mind, and I am so curious why he was at Dr. Stevens’ office this morning.

Against my better judgment, I type in “Liam Harper Cape May, NJ” in the search bar. Several results pop up spanning from the last twenty years. My eyes widen as I scroll the headlines.

Local Artisan Designs Custom Artwork for Millionaire’s Beach House (6/31/21)

Local Artisan Promotes His Woodwork at Cape May Art Festival (4/14/22)

We Remember: 20th Anniversary of Teenage Car Crash Family & Friends Remember Cara Cote (9/15/20)

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