Page 4 of Changing Tides

I clear my throat. “How old is she?” I ask meekly.

“She just had her first birthday.” Ellie smiles. Lucy whines again. “I’m coming, baby.”

I swallow a lump in my throat. The intrusive fear that I may never get to be a mother floods my mind. I havealwayswanted to be a mother. I never in a million years thought I would find myself divorced and infertile at thirty-eight. More importantly, I never thought my husband would become a parent with anyone other than me. The realization slams into me with hurricane force.I may never get to pick up my own crying baby.

The words are out of my mouth before I can stop myself. “Please, let me get her.”

I am out of my seat before Ellie can put the pan down.

* * *

It’s5 p.m. before I wander back to my little guest house, trying to think of a plan for dinner. I unexpectedly spent the day with Ellie and Lucy, and I had the best time. It filled me up in a way I wasn’t expecting. I got to feed her lunch, then Ellie and I walked Lucy to the market, and I picked up some food for the cottage. Ellie and I got to know each other over afternoon tea while Lucy napped. It all feels so right, like I’ve been here all along.

I’m smiling as I unlock the door and hear the rumble of Liam’s pickup pulling into the driveway. I must admit that I am curious about him, but I’m far too awkward and fragile right now to even attempt a friendly conversation, so I go inside and peek at him from my little front window.

Today, he seems jovial as he chats with Ellie at the side of the house, his eyes crinkling as he laughs at something Ellie tells him. Lucy grasps at the sides of his face, pulling it to hers. He laughs and kisses the side of the baby’s head before waving Ellie goodbye. This display of tenderness is a world of difference from the man I met when I arrived yesterday, making me even more interested in who he is besides Ellie’s single next-door neighbor.

I close the curtain and reach for my phone. I haven’t looked at it since this morning. I have several text messages from Claire, my assistant Ashley, and surprisingly four of them are from James. I didn’t expect to hear from him after signing the papers yesterday. I’m not sure if I have the mental capacity to deal with him right now so I decide to open Claire’s messages first.

Claire: Hi… Just checking in. I haven’t heard from you much since you arrived in Cape May. I hope you’re okay. Call me, please.

Claire: It’s been a couple of hours. Can you at least let me know you’re okay????

Claire: If you’re okay, I am going to kick your ass. You’re giving new meaning to the word solace!

I laugh to myself and quickly type out a text back saying I will FaceTime her soon. Then I open my assistant’s message confirming that two weeks is enough time. I feel a smidgen of guilt over this. I know people depend on me for their weekly therapy sessions and here I am moseying around the beach, drinking away my feelings and my own need for therapy.

I text Ashley back and I make sure I let her know that I appreciate her. She is probably taking some heat from my crankier patients for the inconvenience. I told her to tell them I had a family emergency and I needed some time off. It’s not a lie. Your husband having an affair, knocking the girl up, and then consequently having to file for divorce, is definitely a family emergency.

Before I bring myself to read James’ text messages, I reach for another bottle of red wine. I pour myself a hefty glass, grab a fleece blanket, and settle on the teal sofa. Wine is about all I can think of for dinner now, despite purchasing several microwave meals earlier today.Who needs food anyway?With an exhausted sigh, I pick up my phone again.

James: Sophie, I don’t know what to say besides I’m sorry. I hate the way this turned out for us.

James: I didn’t want to become a dad this way. It was always supposed to be me and you.

James: I know you probably don’t want to talk to me and that’s okay, but I wanted to tell you that I talked to a realtor about listing the house.

James: When you’re ready, we should probably chat about it. Take care, Sophie. I’m sorry for everything.

That last text was just sent within the hour. I have a hard time believing that he cares this much. He just wants to get on with his life with Brittany. They can ride off into the sunset and make a whole basketball team of beautiful babies. I don’t know what to say back to him. It all feels too fresh. My eyes are just beginning to well up with tears when there’s a soft knock at my door.

I bolt off the couch and over to the door, swinging it open just in time to see my new neighbor, Liam sneaking away. There’s a bag of what smells like Chinese take-out at my feet.

“Liam?” I tilt my head, my brow furrowed in confusion.

Liam stops in his tracks and slowly spins around to face me. He runs his fingers through his tousled mess of almost jet-black hair and looks at his feet before meeting my eyes. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“What are you doing here?” I eye him curiously but make sure to keep my voice light. “Did you bring me food?” I squat down and pick up the bag.

Liam rocks back on his heels and clears his throat. “Yeah. Yeah, I did. I think we got off on the wrong foot yesterday, and I thought maybe you didn’t have dinner yet. I ordered too much food.” An awkward chuckle bubbles out of him. “My eyes are bigger than my stomach I guess.”

“Liam…that’s,” I suck in a breath, “that’s really nice.” I offer him a tight smile.

Liam shakes his head. “It’s nothing, honest. I hope you like lo mein.” He turns to go.

“Thank you,” I call after him.

Liam looks over his shoulder and gives me a wave. “Good night, Sophie.”

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