Page 48 of Changing Tides

We walk up to the desk together and the front desk girl is the same, though someone else taught the class, a guy named Russ. He smiles at us.

“Did you enjoy the class?” he asks, looking at Sophie. I instantly feel annoyed by the attention he’s giving her.Check your jealousy, bro.

I am standing behind her and box her in by putting my right hand on the counter. It’s the only way to tell Russ to back the fuck off but still keep my hands to myself. Sophie looks up at me with a curious expression, but her eyes are twinkling.

Here I go again with the mixed signals. I can’t help myself though, Sophie feels like she belongs to me.

“I loved it,” Sophie smiles. “I am so relaxed, I could fall right into bed.”

I wish she could fall right into my bed.

I clear my throat loudly. “Yeah. I liked it too. Is it always at this time?” I ask, shooting Russ a warning look.

“It is.” He laughs nervously. “It’s not always me who teaches it though.”

“These are the class packages.” The desk girl shows us a laminated flier with various tiers of class packages.

Sophie and I agree on a ten-class package each and sign up. When we’re walking home, she gives me a nudge. “What the hell was that, Harper?” She grins.

“What?” I ask her, playing dumb even though I know exactly what she’s talking about.

“I thought we’re just friends? So why did you try to scare away Yoga Man?” She is being direct but smiling at me, so she can’t be too annoyed.

“Yoga man?” I raise my eyebrows and avoid her question.

“I give everyone nicknames.” She laughs and takes a sip of her water, side-eyeing me.

“What is my nickname?” I narrow my eyes at her and smirk.

“Hunkle Liam.” She says it so fast I know she didn’t even have to think about it. “You know…like you’re an uncle, but you’re also a hunk?” She barks out a genuine hearty laugh and covers her mouth.

I have no choice but to laugh with her and roll my eyes. I am so far gone for this girl.

* * *

The next fewweeks are considerably quiet. I work for Danny every day, and I’ve picked up two side projects for summer homeowners. I drop Lucy off each morning to Sophie and Ellie. I am so intrigued by Sophie’s every move, but I must put some distance between us if I’m going to behave myself and keep things friendly. The only exception has been our weekly yoga date that’s not a date. We meet out front, walk up to the yoga studio, and walk back, sometimes stopping for a smoothie. I allow myself to enjoy these moments with her, and she seems to enjoy them too.

I am still seeing Doc every week. I kind of let him in on the Sophie stuff. He’s proud of me for respecting boundaries and being a gentleman. Such an old dude. I can feel myself changing for the better. Comfortable in my role as a parent now, I devote all my free time to Lucy. I am working hard on myself so that maybe, when Sophie is ready, I will be too. I feel like she has lived here forever, but it’s only been eight weeks. Now, Memorial Day weekend is approaching, and it will be the official start of summer. I know how busy that time of year gets for me with work, and this is the first summer that I’m parenting Lucy on my own. It’s important for me to stay steady, but all I can think about is that if I let myself, I’d be falling.

27

SOPHIE

The end of May is approaching, and I have started to find my groove here in Cape May. I watch Lucy every day for Liam, most days Ellie helps out too. He has tried to pay me, but I haven’t cashed any of his checks. I love spending time with Lucy and in many ways, I think she is helping me feel like I can move forward. Lucy may not be mine, but the bond we’ve developed has healed the gaping hole in my heart left there by years of infertility.

Liam works every day and only joins us for dinner a couple of nights a week but being with him is easy. Sunday yoga is the highlight of my week because when I am with Liam, I feel like it’s a different time in my life, before I was calloused with heartbreak. Liam makes me feel free from the burden of past hurts. I don’t tell him much about James or my divorce because he doesn’t ask, and it's not exactly an easy thing to bring up out of thin air. It’s almost like I get to be someone else entirely.

A week ago, James called to tell me that the house is officially listed and the realtor thinks it will go fast. This should have made me happy but as soon as I hung up the phone I had a good cry. I haven’t cried over it in weeks.

I still haven’t thought about whether I want to open a practice of my own or if I just want to be Lucy’s nanny forever. I know that can't really happen because eventually my money will dry up, but a girl can dream.

I keep seeing Dr. Stevens who tells me not to rush healing. This is something I know, obviously, however, I can’t help but push myself. My attraction to Liam grows every time I spend any amount of time with him, but lately, it seems like he’s avoiding seeing me at all. I find myself desperately looking for a reason to text him or see him more beyond the usual drop-off and pick-up.

I feel ready to move on, but now I worry that the moment has passed for us. As time goes on, I am getting impatient. I have never been good at sitting still but the more time that passes without being able to move on to something new, the more antsy I am. I’m trying to tell myself that Liam is giving me time to heal from my divorce and that he’ll be there when I’m really ready, but I’m still in a funk.

Today, Liam is trying to bring me out of it. It’s the Sunday of Memorial Day weekend and the town is buzzing with summer excitement. There are tourists everywhere, and now that I’m kind of a local, it’s really annoying me. Our evening yoga class relaxed me enough but as soon as I step back out onto the street, I feel grumpy again.

I huff angrily at having to wait to cross out onto the sidewalk.

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