Page 51 of Changing Tides

Sophie shifts uncomfortably. Shelookslike she’s been crying—her cheeks are rosy and her eyelids are pink and a little puffy. I’m sure Ellie can see it too. “No, thanks, Ellie. If you don’t mind, I think I’m going to just go up to bed.” She feigns a yawn. “That yoga class will put you right to sleep.”

“Okay, yes,” Ellie says softly. She meets my gaze as Sophie starts for the stairs. “Rest up. Tomorrow is Memorial Day!” She clasps her hands together. “Shall we invite some people over for a barbecue?”

Sophie nods half-heartedly. “Sure, whatever you want.” She tries to smile but I can tell she just wants to get out of here. I’m trying not to take it personally. “Goodnight, everyone,” she says as she retreats up the steps.

When we hear Sophie’s door close, Ellie whacks my forearm. “What did you do?” she scolds in a hushed voice.

I roll my eyes and mimic her volume so Sophie doesn’t hear us. “What makes you think I did something? I am not a bad guy, Ellie.”

“I’m sorry. It’s just… I see those moon eyes you have for that girl. Can’t say I’ve ever seen you look atMelanielike that,” Ellie murmurs.

I ignore that last remark and give Ellie a little bit of the information I know she’s craving. “When we got out of yoga, we ran into James.” This time I really whisper so Sophie can’t hear me.

Ellie picks up what I’m putting down and whispers back, “James?! Ex-husband James?”

My jaw ticks remembering that guy and his shamefaced expression. I shake my head in disgust. “It wasn’t good. I think Sophie is exhausted from it.”At least that’s what I’m telling myself.I raise my voice to a normal level, so Sophie doesn’t pick up that we’ve been down here whispering. “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow. I’ll help grill whatever it is we cook.” Lucy is falling asleep on my shoulder. “Say, night night, Lucy.” Lucy flaps her hand in a sleepy wave and we’re out the door.

* * *

Luckily,Lucy goes right to bed for me. I’m sitting out on my deck, wishing I could still look over the fence and see what Sophie is up to, but now her bedroom is on the other side of Ellie’s house. I throw the ball for Maggie and then glance down at my phone. No messages. My friends have been quiet this week, and I was hoping to see a message from Sophie but nothing is there. I can’t hold back anymore, so I decide to text her.

Me: I have been wanting to do that basically since you got here.

It takesher a minute and I think maybe she’s sleeping but then my phone buzzes in my hand.

Sophie:

I’m a little thrown.She has been flirting with me since we’ve established a little friendship. She came onto me after she’d been drinking, and I was a gentleman and resisted. Now I just get a smiley face? After I held her while she got snot and tears all over my shirt? I’ve been practicing being more upfront with Doc and I know if I don’t talk about it, it’s going to eat at me. I need to make sure she’s okay.

Me: Sophie, are you ok?

Sophie: I’m good.

Okay.What is going on here? I know people say you can’t tell tone from text but this feels off.

Me: Come on, don’t go cold on me, Soph. I thought you wanted this too.

This timeseveral more minutes pass. Maggie is nudging me with her ball. I pry it out of her mouth and throw it far to buy myself some more alone time. I am pacing the deck and running my fingers through my hair. I probably fucked this up somehow already. Finally, after four minutes that felt like forty, my phone buzzes.

Sophie: I did. I do. I am just emotionally exhausted tonight. I’m sorry.

I sigh.Now I feel like I was insensitive, so I don’t push anymore.

Me: I’m sorry. Sleep well.

Then I callMaggie inside and decide to go to bed myself. I don’t sleep though. I toss and turn, thinking about Cara, Melanie, and Sophie, comparing my feelings for them all and trying to figure out which ones are real.

* * *

Around noon the next day,I venture over to Ellie’s house and find her and Sophie sitting at the kitchen table. Lucy reaches for Sophie with a gleeful squeal, so I hand her over and we are all smiling down at Lucy.

“I think she’s going to walk soon,” I tell them, trying to keep the subject light. “She’s been pulling herself up more… Isn’t fourteen months about the time?”

“I think as long as she walks before eighteen months. Babies do things at all different times. She’s doing great.” Sophie gives Lucy a motherly squeeze and I feel my chest contract.

“So what are you girls up to on this Memorial Day?” I ask. “Should we get some food to cook tonight?”

We’re interrupted by a knock at the front door. We all look at each other to see if anyone knows who it might be. Sophie looks nervous and I am nervous for her.Does James know where she is? Would he come here?She stands and tells Ellie that she’ll get the door and hands Lucy to her. I follow behind her in case it is James. I put my hand on her lower back, so she knows I’m here for her. She doesn’t shake it off, so that’s a good sign. The nervousness in her face and body language shows me she is expecting the worst. There is a second knock and then voices talking to each other from behind the door.

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