Page 68 of Changing Tides

How could I leave this man? But it’s fast and putting all my eggs in one basket is scary too.I swallow the lump forming in my throat. Traffic is whizzing by and I’m anxious to get on the road. “Liam, I care about you—and Lucy—so much,” I murmur. “This is just something I have to decide for myself. Can you just give me some time to figure things out?”

Liam sighs. “I don’t want to, but I will,” he grumbles.

“Thank you.” I reach forward and pull his mouth to mine by his T-shirt and plant a kiss on his mouth.

He pulls back onto the road, and we head for home.

36

LIAM

Iam relatively quiet the rest of the drive back to Cape May and so is Sophie. We discuss music choices briefly, Sophie points out a couple of shortcuts, but otherwise, we don’t have much to say. I’m internally panicking but I’m also a little mad that she is thinking about leaving and hasn’t said anything to me about it.

Logically, I don’t know why I am even upset with her. She has dealt with a lot the last few months. She doesn’t need me making things harder on her. Realistically, why wouldn’t she want to move home? I just assumed that spending every waking moment together and sharing a bed most nights meant wearetogether. I haven’t brought it up though. There has been no conversation because, as I have told her multiple times, I haven’t done this before. I didn’t realize I had to formally ask her to be my girlfriend.

The fact that she is considering moving away from me, Lucy, and Ellie andthis placekills me. I can’t believe she didn’t even tell me. I don’t know if I can let myself get closer to her now. All this time I have been thinking I am falling in love with her and maybe she hasn’t felt the same. She’s been in love. She’s beenmarried.I haven’t. I don’t know what this is supposed to feel like or what the rules are.

I pull in my driveway and hop out of the car, making my way around to open her door like I usually do. She beats me to it and closes the door before I get to her. She looks a little glum as she starts walking.

I catch her hand. “Soph,” I rasp. “I’m sorry. I got scared. I don’t want you to move.”

At this, she softens but doesn’t relent. “Okay, well. I have to have the conversation, Liam. I might stay, but if it’s a good opportunity for me, then I might not.” She crosses her arms over her chest, closing off her heart from mine.

I nod. Ellie is at my house with Lucy because it’s late, but Sophie doesn’t move to follow me. “You coming?” I ask hopefully.

“I think I’m just going to stay here tonight,” she says without looking at me.

I don’t know what to do so I stand there helplessly. This is the first night we won’t have slept together in weeks, and I’m frozen at the foot of the driveway watching her walk away from me.

Okay. It’s okay. Maybe some space is good. Distance from a complicated situation never hurt anyone.I try to convince myself.

It’s not working. My chest tightens and I feel the familiar sensation of panic rising in my throat.I really hope I didn’t fuck this up.

* * *

Sunday comesand I haven’t heard much from Sophie besides a few text messages. I asked her yesterday if she wanted to hang out and she told me she was doing some work and starting Leah’s picture project. I tried to tell myself it’s okay, I saw her yesterday. We don’t need to spend every waking minute together.

When I still haven’t heard from her Sunday morning, I send her a text.

Me: Soph, I know you’re busy but…did you want to go to yoga tonight? I just need to ask Ellie if you do…

She writes back fairly quickly.

Sophie: Sure. I’d like that.

Okay,maybe she’s coming around. We agree to meet out front and walk since the air isn’t too sticky. We fall in step together and she lets me hold her hand while we walk. This is giving me reason to hope that we’re okay.

“Sophie, I’m sorry if I upset you with my assumptions the other day. Are you ok?” I glance over at her, willing her to look my way.

“It’s okay,” she says sincerely. She squeezes my hand. “I’m still not sure what I’m doing though, so please be patient with me.” She gives me a faint smile that I think is meant to comfort me, but all it does is tear me up inside.

“I’ll try,” I say, and I mean it. I chew on my lip, mulling over my next question. “Besides, moving home, do you have any other options you want to share with me?” I have never been good with the unknown and it will be truly hard for me to wait to hear her plans. It’s been years since I’ve let someone in and now, I feel exposed. If Sophie leaves, it’ll break me. I want us to be as upfront as possible about this.

Sophie looks sideways at me. “Actually, there is another option,” she hesitates.

I slow my pace and look her way, waiting for her to continue.

“Doc asked if I wanted to rent his extra office space and see patients out of there.” She stops walking and I whirl around to face her.

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