Page 70 of Changing Tides

I stand up and put my hands behind my head, pacing back and forth. “Oh good. You’re here.” That’s all I can get out.

“I’m here.” She smiles. “We’re here.” She bounces Lucy and she giggles. “Where’s the fire drill?”

“I have to drive a few hours to get something for work,” I tell her, hurriedly. The longer it takes me to get on the road, the later I’ll be back. “Can you stay with Lucy? You or Ellie if you’re busy.”

“I’ve got her,” she says. “Go, go. Do what you have to do.” She gives me a wry smile.

“Thank you!” I kiss Lucy’s head and Sophie’s cheek and jog back down the steps. Thinking better of it, I turn around and bound back up them. “Sophie,” I breathe, tipping up her chin so she can look me in the eye. “I want you to take all the time you need to make the best decision for yourself. I’m sorry if I made you feel like you can’t do that.” My voice comes out husky.

Sophie’s eyes are glittery when she says, “Thank you.” She stands on her tiptoes and kisses me; Lucy reaches for me and grabs my earlobe, giggling.

“Ouch, Lulu!” I yelp, laughing.

Sophie looks much more at ease than she did yesterday. She grins at me and waves her hand away. “Go on, get out of here.”

“Okay. Bye!” I plant one more peck on her lips and rub the top of Lucy’s head before I’m off.

I’ve never built anything in three days but I’m damn sure going to try.

37

SOPHIE

It’s a total lie that relationships are supposed to be easy. Even with the right person, it takes work. It takes a constant commitment to show up every day for that person and for yourself. I made that commitment with James, and I honored it. He’s the one who didn’t. He’s the one who broke us. I made the decision to try to work things out until he dropped the bomb that he was going to be a father, but I would surely not be the mother. All I have ever wanted was to create a family like the one I grew up in. It wasn’t always easy, but we knew we were loved. We knew we could depend on each other and when things got hard, we leaned on each other. James couldn’t give me that.

Liam can and I am pretty sure he wants to. Sometimes, when I let myself really imagine what it might be like to be a family with Liam and Lucy, I think nothing would make me happier. Fear of making the wrong choice is what is holding me back. I am newly divorced, on my own, the world is at my feet. I could take the job back at home and continue to heal surrounded by people who know and love me. I could also stay here and try things out with Liam, who may just be the greatest man I have ever met. He’s so broken and raw and yet, he let me in. What if I try things with him and it fizzles out? It’s only been a few weeks. That would break him…and probably me too. I have no idea what the right choice is.

On Monday, I kept Lucy all day. It was late by the time Liam returned and he didn’t seem like he wanted to talk. He said he needed to get some stuff done in his workshop. It felt like a brush off but I’m telling myself it’s because he is giving me the space I need to think.

On Tuesday morning, I meet him outside when he drops off Lucy.

“Can I see you tonight?” I ask, reaching for his hand before he can walk away.

“Can I let you know how the day goes?” He grimaces, biting his lip.

My disappointment must betray my face because he pauses, raking his fingers through his hair. “I’m sorry, Soph. This project is huge, and it is just taking up every free moment right now.”

“Okay, I understand. I’ll see you later.” I force a smile as I wave him off.

He waves as he hops in his truck.

I groan and close the front door after he leaves. I carry Lucy into the other room and find Ellie, her brow knit together in concern. “You ok, Sophie?” She reaches to take Lucy from me.

I sigh. “I want to say yes, but…not really. I feel like everything with Liam got all messed up.” I shrug and drop my arms at my sides.

“It didn’t, sweetheart. You just have to find your footing again.” She soothes, reaching to push some hair behind my ear. She’s so nurturing, it’s no wonder Dr. Stevens is crazy about her.

“It hasn’t even been long enough for me to be this upset. It would be easy to walk away,” I murmur.

Ellie makes a noise that sounds likehmm. She waits for me to continue.

“It might be the realization that I’m about to be officially on my own for the first time in a long time coupled with not seeing eye to eye with Liam, but I feel a bit lost again.”

Ellie gives me a reassuring smile. “I promise, you’ll figure things out, sweet girl.”

I sigh deeply again. “Would you mind keeping Lucy for a bit? I’ve got to make some calls.”

Ellie agrees and I head upstairs to call Trevor.

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